Friday Caption Fun, Round 103
July 30, 2010 89 Comments
If you’re anything like me, you’ve probably got a bad case of forklifts on your mind. Thankfully this weekend’s Halo double experience playlist of choice is Rocket Race, meaning the truly desperate can pretend they’re driving around small industrial vehicles instead of facing the fact that they’re still just riding brokeback. On the off chance that doesn’t do it for you, feel free to hang out here and caption instead. We’ll do our usual recap of last week’s answers, and then we’ll tackle a brand new screenshot!
- “Just what I always wanted. My own little Spartan. I will name him George, and I will hug him and pet him and squeeze him…” (Jim 028)
- “Grunt: NIPPLE!!!!!!!!” (soulofaqua)
- “Your gun. My mouth. NOW.” (Louis Wu)
- “YOU KILLED FLIP-YAP!” (Billdebeast)
- “Lacking any plasma grenades, the Halo: Reach Grunts will now employ the flying deep throat attack!” (JLay)
- “In all fairness to Bungie, Covenant Vampire Bat armor permutations sounded like a really good idea on paper.” (S)
- “Grunt used Scary Face! It’s not very effective…” (Rakolai)
- “Grunts breath methane all day. So when lighting THEIR farts on fire, the results are just… spectacular.” (retinence)
Spectacular indeed! I have a feeling the captions all of you come up with for the following screenshot will be just as entertaining. In case you haven’t guessed the theme of the week yet, soak in the glory of the following image and then devise a witty quip to go along with it. Go ahead. I’ll wait!
Author: zDaVee BoosteR
Hawty McBloggy Invites You to Play 
Simon the Elite hauls gold from the vault in Die Hard With A Halo. Spoilers: John-117 McClane and Samuel L. Johnson blow him up. Yippeekiyay motherf-
Unleashing Hell. At 5mph
It’s the little forklift that could!
i think i can, i think i can, i think i can…
you stole my idea :(
Hackzors!!
They see me rollin’. They hatin’.
I’m telling you, there is no way you can pick up chicks in a forklift!
Oh that is a ile jim… I know that a forklift may not look that much but they are quite cool when it comes to chicks!!! At least shoping with them is more easy… xD lol
If you are into really fat chicks, you need a forklift to pick them up!
…
A forklift sounds like an ideal penetration machine but Boris was unable to get it up.
*ba dum TSS*
two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff
The elite doesnt realise that he cannot fix it with a forklift
With the conflict on Reach approaching a standstill, the Covenant decided to take extreme measures.
Now be careful this time. The drop is quite sudden.
in reference to http://officespam.chattablogs.com/archives/forklift-bomb.GIF
Bringing death at you. One Box at a time.
Honk honk blarg… haarrrgg?
Surprisingly, he’s on a splatter spree.
Illegal immigrants, always taking the jobs no one else wants.
Some people are less than enthused by leaked “official” copies of Reach.
Bob the Elite Builder?
can we build it?
No, cause the chief nuked it.
Red’s become a Union man.
To afford all the ammo they need, the spartans had to moonshine in the base warehouse
I think you’re thinking of moonlight. Moonshine is completely different XD
But infinitely more delicious.
It’s hard for Elites to find employment after the war, but they make do with what they can.
He wasn’t sure whether he was madder at his mother, for naming him Sisyphus – or his boss, for having an education and a lousy sense of humor.
Think moving things around in Halo 3 Forge was buggy and slow? You should’ve seen the original version…
Arbiter: “They said all I had to do was drive a forklift up these stairs. Were it so easy …”
And who said the forklift was only drivable in Halo: Reach?
Worker #1: “Hey Bob, you seen much of the new guy?”
Worker #2: “Nah, he’s keeping a low profile in case immigration kick him off Reach.”
where did you want the crates of complaints about elites being all-around better than Spartans
Time to deal some four-wheel two prong death, one step at a time.
IS this the brake or the clutch? Damn futuristic machinery!!!
why are there 6 pedals when there are only four directions?
Forklift’s are not “slow”. They’re “special”.
Gotdammit bob!, i told you not to drive that thing up the stairs!
Using a forklift in Reach wasn’t quite as new as some fans thought.
Contrary to popular belief, not every Elite gets to be a warrior.
” God, I can’t wait until Reach comes out with the “phase” option…maybe then I won’t get….stuck all the….time….DAMMIT!”
Bungie’s initial Forge 2.0 idea was to make it more realistic. “Let’s make them move the blocks around with a forklift!”
Sokoban, Halo style.
stupid Sunday drivers
Nice, it only has 7,000 light years on it!
fork! fork! fork!
damn i new i shoulda gotten the lx package with all wheel drive
Hey…can someone give me a push?
LEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOYYYYYYYYY……
With a recent economic depression, the Covenant had to make some… cutbacks…
Those aren’t the two prongs I meant…
Upon the thought of why he was hauling ass for Leslie, the elite came to only one conclusion:
“Damn those cinnamon buns!”
“Try to catch me Ridin’ Dirty”
They see me rollin’ they hatin’
Well this car is automatic, it’s systematic, it’s hydromatic
Why it’s greased lightnin’!
Elite Can’t Drive… Fifty FIve!
In fact he’s lucky to hit just Five.
“Want to see a magic trick? Watch my strange alien anatomy make this shifter knob disappear.”
The forklift only had 2 “gruntpower” and was unable to make it up the ramp.
Im coming for you companion crate!!
Forklift beats everything!
Launch all Zig, you know what to do!
For great justice!
Dude! Fork You!
The Halo 3 Forklift: Works best on hills
The new wheelchairs which would allow disabled elites up stairs were somewhat less than streamlined
R-r-revenge! F-f-f-for W-wanda!
(props to whoever gets the reference)
fairly odd parents?
K-k-k-ken is going to k-k-k-kill me!
“A Fish Called Wanda” Good movie
Spawn’s wife was named Wanda. Was it a Spawn reference?
laugh all you want, it took all his seniority to land the easy forklift job at the Covenant’s vehicle assembly plant….
The first leaked footage of Halo: Reach’s final level “Forklift Run” is here!
Everybody’s working for the weekend
” Hey looks like jeff found a way to get his mom out the buffet….”
“You think that’s cool? When this thing hits 88 mph, you’re gonna see some serious shit…”
Yep. Definite Shit.
The senior citizens sanghelios are thoroughly excited about the new stairs conquering wheelchairs created for them by the humans as a sign of peace.
*Cues Music*
“We’re half way there (WOAAAAAAH) Livin’ on a prayer.”
Screw Reach! I can already drive a forklift!
“Ten years of fighting in the war and I go from Seraph pilot to forklift operator!”
dayummm that elite need to get on that pimp my ride show
Transformers: Forklifts in Disguise.
(sorry if I’m copying anyone, didn’t read them all)
It was a genuine surprise for humanity to find out that with all their technology, the Covenant was at the same level they were in the “moving heavy objects” category.
Warthog? BAH!
Another boring day at the MJOLNIR factory.
Forklift²
“Hey baby! Need a lift?”
“Before the Oracle”
“i bet i can jump it farther than that scorpion”
(see blame stosh ,update 30/7/10)
BWU: For this week’s Blame Stosh, he gave us something that topped the video of the Tank spawning on top of a moving Mongoose. This picture shows a Forklift spawning on top of an Elite.
–(urk edit: If you look closely, you can see a Monitor editing things. That’s actually Stosh running a new build of the Halo 3 Engine. He can now join any game in-session and edit things to his liking in his quest to actually make the ultimate “Blame Stosh”. Gamers beware!)
Elites are the new Mexicans, doing all the hard work no one else wants to do.