Friday Caption Fun, Round 103

Halo Reach ScreenshotIf you’re anything like me, you’ve probably got a bad case of forklifts on your mind. Thankfully this weekend’s Halo double experience playlist of choice is Rocket Race, meaning the truly desperate can pretend they’re driving around small industrial vehicles instead of facing the fact that they’re still just riding brokeback. On the off chance that doesn’t do it for you, feel free to hang out here and caption instead. We’ll do our usual recap of last week’s answers, and then we’ll tackle a brand new screenshot!

  • “Just what I always wanted. My own little Spartan. I will name him George, and I will hug him and pet him and squeeze him…” (Jim 028)
  • “Grunt: NIPPLE!!!!!!!!” (soulofaqua)
  • “Your gun. My mouth. NOW.” (Louis Wu)
  • “YOU KILLED FLIP-YAP!” (Billdebeast)
  • “Lacking any plasma grenades, the Halo: Reach Grunts will now employ the flying deep throat attack!” (JLay)
  • “In all fairness to Bungie, Covenant Vampire Bat armor permutations sounded like a really good idea on paper.” (S)
  • “Grunt used Scary Face! It’s not very effective…” (Rakolai)
  • “Grunts breath methane all day. So when lighting THEIR farts on fire, the results are just… spectacular.” (retinence)


Spectacular indeed! I have a feeling the captions all of you come up with for the following screenshot will be just as entertaining. In case you haven’t guessed the theme of the week yet, soak in the glory of the following image and then devise a witty quip to go along with it. Go ahead. I’ll wait!

Halo 3 Screenshot
Author: zDaVee BoosteR

89 Responses to Friday Caption Fun, Round 103

  1. Pete Cooper says:

    Simon the Elite hauls gold from the vault in Die Hard With A Halo. Spoilers: John-117 McClane and Samuel L. Johnson blow him up. Yippeekiyay motherf-

  2. OwlAssassin says:

    Unleashing Hell. At 5mph

  3. iCeDrAgOn01 says:

    It’s the little forklift that could!

    • smurph says:

      i think i can, i think i can, i think i can…

      you stole my idea :(

  4. Zerowind117 says:

    Hackzors!!

    • Wasiq says:

      They see me rollin’. They hatin’.

  5. Jim 028 says:

    I’m telling you, there is no way you can pick up chicks in a forklift!

    • Sharkuel says:

      Oh that is a ile jim… I know that a forklift may not look that much but they are quite cool when it comes to chicks!!! At least shoping with them is more easy… xD lol

    • JLay says:

      If you are into really fat chicks, you need a forklift to pick them up!

      • Steve the Lekgolo says:

  6. staticrift says:

    A forklift sounds like an ideal penetration machine but Boris was unable to get it up.

    • S says:

      *ba dum TSS*

      • augustelc says:

        two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff

  7. king kottah says:

    The elite doesnt realise that he cannot fix it with a forklift

  8. Absolute Edge says:

    With the conflict on Reach approaching a standstill, the Covenant decided to take extreme measures.

  9. grimtimes says:

    Now be careful this time. The drop is quite sudden.

    in reference to http://officespam.chattablogs.com/archives/forklift-bomb.GIF

  10. Bowen says:

    Bringing death at you. One Box at a time.

  11. the_eNeME says:

    Honk honk blarg… haarrrgg?

  12. retinence says:

    Surprisingly, he’s on a splatter spree.

  13. HK 780 says:

    Illegal immigrants, always taking the jobs no one else wants.

  14. Skitzo Sven says:

    Some people are less than enthused by leaked “official” copies of Reach.

  15. Schoony says:

    Bob the Elite Builder?

    • ZZoMBiE13 says:

      can we build it?

      • Malcom Reynolds says:

        No, cause the chief nuked it.

  16. one crazy idiot says:

    Red’s become a Union man.

  17. MrCrazy says:

    To afford all the ammo they need, the spartans had to moonshine in the base warehouse

    • Sonu says:

      I think you’re thinking of moonlight. Moonshine is completely different XD

      • But infinitely more delicious.

  18. ComaToast says:

    It’s hard for Elites to find employment after the war, but they make do with what they can.

  19. Louis Wu says:

    He wasn’t sure whether he was madder at his mother, for naming him Sisyphus – or his boss, for having an education and a lousy sense of humor.

  20. S says:

    Think moving things around in Halo 3 Forge was buggy and slow? You should’ve seen the original version…

  21. Mr Viper says:

    Arbiter: “They said all I had to do was drive a forklift up these stairs. Were it so easy …”

  22. KenOfNZ says:

    And who said the forklift was only drivable in Halo: Reach?

  23. Hedgemony says:

    Worker #1: “Hey Bob, you seen much of the new guy?”
    Worker #2: “Nah, he’s keeping a low profile in case immigration kick him off Reach.”

  24. The Real Dr Nog says:

    where did you want the crates of complaints about elites being all-around better than Spartans

  25. Monkey_lord says:

    Time to deal some four-wheel two prong death, one step at a time.

  26. IS this the brake or the clutch? Damn futuristic machinery!!!

    • voicedwalnut says:

      why are there 6 pedals when there are only four directions?

  27. hongoasdf says:

    Forklift’s are not “slow”. They’re “special”.

  28. Cyanz says:

    Gotdammit bob!, i told you not to drive that thing up the stairs!

  29. Gin says:

    Using a forklift in Reach wasn’t quite as new as some fans thought.

  30. Rakolai says:

    Contrary to popular belief, not every Elite gets to be a warrior.

  31. A Deaf Boy says:

    ” God, I can’t wait until Reach comes out with the “phase” option…maybe then I won’t get….stuck all the….time….DAMMIT!”

  32. Mercutio2000 says:

    Bungie’s initial Forge 2.0 idea was to make it more realistic. “Let’s make them move the blocks around with a forklift!”

  33. Mojo says:

    Sokoban, Halo style.

  34. General Vaguneness says:

    stupid Sunday drivers

    Nice, it only has 7,000 light years on it!

  35. rowboat 000 says:

    fork! fork! fork!

  36. John says:

    damn i new i shoulda gotten the lx package with all wheel drive

  37. xCoNs says:

    Hey…can someone give me a push?

  38. Miztli says:

    LEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOYYYYYYYYY……

  39. SkeletorODP says:

    With a recent economic depression, the Covenant had to make some… cutbacks…

  40. That Geek says:

    Those aren’t the two prongs I meant…

  41. Da Nang says:

    Upon the thought of why he was hauling ass for Leslie, the elite came to only one conclusion:
    “Damn those cinnamon buns!”

  42. ZZoMBiE13 says:

    “Try to catch me Ridin’ Dirty”

    • soulofaqua says:

      They see me rollin’ they hatin’

  43. ZZoMBiE13 says:

    Well this car is automatic, it’s systematic, it’s hydromatic
    Why it’s greased lightnin’!

  44. ZZoMBiE13 says:

    Elite Can’t Drive… Fifty FIve!
    In fact he’s lucky to hit just Five.

  45. Senor Leche says:

    “Want to see a magic trick? Watch my strange alien anatomy make this shifter knob disappear.”

  46. StephaBon says:

    The forklift only had 2 “gruntpower” and was unable to make it up the ramp.

  47. ElItearbiter says:

    Im coming for you companion crate!!

  48. Babbott says:

    Forklift beats everything!

  49. Divine Plan says:

    Launch all Zig, you know what to do!

    • Nuclear Pi says:

      For great justice!

  50. SHAGGYDEATH says:

    Dude! Fork You!

  51. Chris101b says:

    The Halo 3 Forklift: Works best on hills

  52. Natonator says:

    The new wheelchairs which would allow disabled elites up stairs were somewhat less than streamlined

  53. augustelc says:

    R-r-revenge! F-f-f-for W-wanda!

    (props to whoever gets the reference)

    • voicedwalnut says:

      fairly odd parents?

    • the last starfighter says:

      K-k-k-ken is going to k-k-k-kill me!

      “A Fish Called Wanda” Good movie

    • ZZoMBiE13 says:

      Spawn’s wife was named Wanda. Was it a Spawn reference?

  54. xxxJL AUDIOxxx says:

    laugh all you want, it took all his seniority to land the easy forklift job at the Covenant’s vehicle assembly plant….

  55. Time Glitch says:

    The first leaked footage of Halo: Reach’s final level “Forklift Run” is here!

  56. Caboozel says:

    Everybody’s working for the weekend

  57. Kiwi says:

    ” Hey looks like jeff found a way to get his mom out the buffet….”

  58. Steve the Lekgolo says:

    “You think that’s cool? When this thing hits 88 mph, you’re gonna see some serious shit…”

    Yep. Definite Shit.

  59. soulofaqua says:

    The senior citizens sanghelios are thoroughly excited about the new stairs conquering wheelchairs created for them by the humans as a sign of peace.

  60. arascalcat says:

    *Cues Music*

    “We’re half way there (WOAAAAAAH) Livin’ on a prayer.”

  61. LockeGenRedux says:

    Screw Reach! I can already drive a forklift!

  62. Oddsock says:

    “Ten years of fighting in the war and I go from Seraph pilot to forklift operator!”

  63. ryan says:

    dayummm that elite need to get on that pimp my ride show

  64. porge says:

    Transformers: Forklifts in Disguise.

    (sorry if I’m copying anyone, didn’t read them all)

    • porge says:

      It was a genuine surprise for humanity to find out that with all their technology, the Covenant was at the same level they were in the “moving heavy objects” category.

  65. Nuclear Pi says:

    Warthog? BAH!

  66. The Flying Spartan says:

    Another boring day at the MJOLNIR factory.

  67. Penguin Ninjoid says:

    Forklift²

  68. CapturetheBomb says:

    “Hey baby! Need a lift?”

    “Before the Oracle”

  69. alecvspredator says:

    “i bet i can jump it farther than that scorpion”

    (see blame stosh ,update 30/7/10)

  70. Gunlat3M says:

    BWU: For this week’s Blame Stosh, he gave us something that topped the video of the Tank spawning on top of a moving Mongoose. This picture shows a Forklift spawning on top of an Elite.

    –(urk edit: If you look closely, you can see a Monitor editing things. That’s actually Stosh running a new build of the Halo 3 Engine. He can now join any game in-session and edit things to his liking in his quest to actually make the ultimate “Blame Stosh”. Gamers beware!)

  71. Chaos Sniper says:

    Elites are the new Mexicans, doing all the hard work no one else wants to do.

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