Friday Caption Fun, Round 94

Halo Reach ScreenshotNow that the Reach beta is over, what titles are currently capturing your attention? I’ve been busy demoing various XBLA games I’ve missed out on lately and also dipping into some cases that have been collecting dust since their initial purchase. Regardless of what has been spinning in your disc tray, how about we take a quick break for our customary captioning? We can recap last week’s answers and then try our hands at a brand new image. Let’s a-go!

  • “Crouching Spartan, hidden codpiece.” (halo3syourdaddy)
  • “My backpack’s got jets. I’m Boba the Fett. I bounty hunt for Jabba Hutt to finance my ‘Vette.” (JLay)
  • “Everybody was Kung-Fu fighting!” (porge)
  • “Red now takes every step carefully, in order to not fall prey to the dreaded trash can.” (hongoasdf)
  • “Karate Kid: 2552” (mendicantbias00)
  • “Bungie unveils a new armor ability: Sneak! It’s not very effective, but people still want it nerfed.” (DenimDan312)
  • In ur base! Still playin’ the beta!” (Zwooosh)
  • “SHUTUP… he’s huntin’ wabbits.” (retinence)


If Red Spartan is hunting rabbits, he’s certainly got it better than Master Chief. Apparently our favorite Spartan supersoldier drew the short end of the stick in the following screenshot, the specifics of which remain unknown. How about you fill in the holes for this story, preferably in the form of a witty caption please!

Halo 3 Screenshot
Author: CentralXpartan

134 Responses to Friday Caption Fun, Round 94

  1. Awesome;Opossum;McCoy says:

    Pardon our dust.

    On another note: None of my other titles can give me the satisfaction the Beta gave me. Any suggestions? Apart from Red Dead Redemption?

    • bs angel says:

      I’m playing super old titles that were purchased many months ago that I never got around to playing so unfortunately I’m not much help to you (currently working my way through Assassin’s Creed and Lego Batman). I’ll hope other people have some good suggestions!

      • Awesome;Opossum;McCoy says:

        I tried playing some old titles I had lying around, but they never kept me entertained for longer than half an hour.

        • t0rm3n7 says:

          Split/Second is fun. I’m getting 2nd and 3rd in most races, and it still feels like an accomplishment.

      • sleepingdragon80 says:

        Hey, Im playing those, too! I also am enjoying Dead Rising again. I cant wait for number 2!

    • MGH1138 says:

      What kind of games do you like? FPS? RTS?

      I’m revisiting Crackdown and having a blast.

    • L337MA573R says:

      Halo’s CE-3?

  2. Dragnew says:

    After the defeat of the Covenant, the UNSC re-assigned the Spartan-II Project to the next deadly conflict humanity had to face- The War on Dirt.

  3. Visitor at home says:

    After realising he was about to be redundant, the Chief went on to his next career-Janitor.

  4. ChaosTool8 says:

    A not so glamorous look into the life of the Custodian class Spartan.

  5. gamin2trollin says:

    Master Chief as you have never seen him before

    or

    UNSC: The Truth Revealed

  6. That Geek says:

    That’s not what the Arbiter meant when he said we’d sweep our foes away before us.

  7. lozg1985 says:

    last one out, get the lights and mop the floor.

  8. rollo 93 says:

    -BLAM!- and the dirt is gone.

  9. They still use brooms in 2553?

    • Awesome;Opossum;McCoy says:

      2552.

      • lol

        • blargwortwortblarghonkhonk says:

          how come every game takes place in 2552 pretty eventfull year for chief

      • L337MA573R says:

        It’s 1 year after the Covenant war. Either that or he’s off by one year. Either way, I don’t think it should really make much, if any, of a difference.

    • hongoasdf says:

      Old inventions never die. We still use the wheel, and it was invented god knows how many years ago.

  10. scraggarax says:

    “They wont… notice if I put the dust there…
    Right?”

  11. Ray says:

    FLAG TAKEN!

    • General Vaguneness says:

      I think you mean “MOP TAKEN”.

  12. Voicedwalnut says:

    Being savior of the universe didn’t pay well so the master chief decided to be a janitor instead

  13. Radius says:

    Irrefutable proof that the Master Chief is, in fact, a woman.

  14. Andrew says:

    Little known fact: Despite being a “Smart” AI, Cortana was a stickler for cleanliness and would remind the Chief of this constantly in addition to her uncharacteristic hatred of wire hangers.

  15. D to the M says:

    Look, the Chief likes a tidy house. Do you want to mock him? Grab another broom and get to it soldier.

  16. VH1’s Behind the Helmet: Where are they now?

  17. Narroc says:

    Call of Duty

    • Tank says:

      Sucks

    • MGH1138 says:

      Call of Doodie?

  18. SkeletorODP says:

    Broom taken! Broom dropped! Broom taken! Broom dropped!

    • That would make him a pretty crappy janitor! lol

    • ZZoMBiE13 says:

      lol. good one.

    • CyberDonkey says:

      Crap. Stole my idea :P

  19. L337MA573R says:

    Now with Bungie out of the way, 343 industries could finally get to work on making the Halo game they’d always wanted to.

  20. Schoony says:

    *sigh* I wish Cortana would get off her virtual ass and do some cleaning around here.

  21. smurph says:

    mop mop mop
    all day long
    mop mop mop
    while i sing this song…

  22. DeepCee says:

    Nobody knoows…..the trouble…I’ve seeeeeeen !!

  23. DeepCee says:

    The superintendent did not expect this when the UNSC said they were giving the city AI’s their own body for more mobility.

  24. Tank says:

    Clean up clean up on aisle 3.

    • Tank says:

      Sorry about that, I dont’t know why I had the Clean up part repeated it self, it was meant to be:
      Clean up on aisle 3.

  25. Firestorm12 says:

    I know it’s a mop but…

    “Bet you can’t sweep it.”

  26. Gagazet says:

    I FUKCING LOVE SWEEPING

  27. Nollemaster says:

    After Truth was defeated, Chief needed a new mortal enemy: Dust Bunnies!

  28. Master Chief couldn’t figure out why Cortana was wearing a pointy hat with stars and listening to classical music, but somehow he knew this was right…

    • Steve the Lekgolo says:

      Lol, wut?

  29. S says:

    Team Actionsack was weird enough…

  30. ComaToast says:

    Master Chief: Cleaning the Universe of scum, one broom swipe at a time.

  31. Seenoht says:

    Really? Bitch woke me for this?

  32. Seenoht says:

    I can’t believe I didn’t see it on here yet:

    “Keep it clean”

    • nice one

    • Phil says:

      lol I was just thinking the same thing but you got it nice haha

      • iPurism says:

        Dammit XD

  33. Forgedreclaimer says:

    after the war “Mater Chief” takes up where “Billy Mays” left off.
    “And with the power of Oxy Clean you can mop up the trickiest of covenant blood”

    • Forgedreclaimer says:

      after the war “Master Chief” takes up where “Billy Mays” left off.
      “And with the power of Oxy Clean you can mop up the trickiest of covenant blood”

      Spell check, fixed Master in Master Chief.

      • Nuclear Pi says:

        I dunno about that spellcheck, it kinda works.
        E.G “mater chief – the paternal spartan”

  34. pwkwsfi says:

    hold RB to sweep the leg.

  35. QuackJAG says:

    “When the UNSC ordered the Master Chief to clean house, he had no clue that they meant it literally.

  36. When Chief said he was going to ‘clean things up’ he was being literal.

  37. kingkottah says:

    mastur ganitor

    • hongoasdf says:

      I’m thinking of another word that starts with “Mastur”…

  38. one crazy idiot says:

    This is what happens when you lose a CTF game. You get to CTM.

  39. A Deaf Boy says:

    Once again the Master Chief is faced with an impossible task; clean up the galaxy…with a broom.

  40. Mike says:

    when bungie performed his post-beta house keeping… this wasn’t exactly what most people had in mind…

  41. Das Kalk says:

    Pardon our dust…

    • *Points to first post*

      • Das Kalk says:

        I fail at this so hard mendi, i’m all out of ideas!

  42. pwkwsfi says:

    I’m so proud of you people. No one said anything like “how to identify a female Spartan.”

  43. Mojo says:

    “That takes care of the dust, now all that’s left are those damn echos”

    • ZZoMBiE13 says:

      This is the best comment so far. Nice one mate.

      • ^ This!

  44. Elnea says:

    Master Chief sighs as his wicked step-sisters shout for him to bring them their tea. “Will my work never be done?”

    • ZZoMBiE13 says:

      lol, Arby must have went to the ball and left Chief at home. :)

    • hongoasdf says:

      Crystal Codpiece?

  45. ZZoMBiE13 says:

    “After his PTSD got too bad for him to fight, Bungie swore they’d keep the Chief on the payroll somehow.”

    “I save the fraggin universe over and over and then Bungie puts me out to pasture in favor of Noble team. Ain’t that about a bitch?”

  46. ZZoMBiE13 says:

    Hey look kids, a machinima version of The Toxic Avenger.

    • Nice name drop. =)

  47. ZZoMBiE13 says:

    Pre-order Halo: Reach from 7-11 and get exclusive access to the JANITOR Spartan armor variant.

  48. Aklangi says:

    Got to keep this place spick and spartan!

  49. Rakolai says:

    Realizing that he was out of ammunition, Master Chief heads to the storage room to prepare his secret weapon.

  50. hongoasdf says:

    “Whaddaya mean it’s not a ‘boomstick’?”

  51. Grif says:

    When Master Chief asked to be in the Reach, Bungie gave him a very small role.

  52. Haichong28 says:

    Post Reach Beta, Master Chief prepares the Halo 3 servers for an influx of users…

  53. leafman says:

    Sadly, after the war ended, many soldiers were left without jobs, fortunately for John, he found a job as a janitor at Walmart.

    This isn’t the cleansing the Prophet of Truth was talking about…

  54. minimac XVII says:

    The UNSC Pension scheme didn’t quite pay as much as Master Cheif had hoped, his retirement was postponed 10 more years, excluding cyro sleep.

  55. Poor Chief. With Reach coming up, he’s had to look for work elsewhere.

  56. 0101 says:

    “Finish the mess”

  57. 13375n1p3r says:

    Oh No!!!!!! Samus effect! Master chief is a woman!

  58. Zee-V70 says:

    After realizing the lack of Brutes in Reach, Bungie began working on a replacement weapon. While the base texture’s somewhat lacking, they say it’s going to…

    *puts on shades*

    clean up nicely.

    YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH

    • Nuclear Pi says:

      So, Five corpses in a broom cuboard, looks like we’re dealing with a perp who likes to down his enemies…

      *Puts on shades*

      In a clean sweep.

      YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!

  59. iPurism says:

    You just lost The Game.

    • iPurism says:

      Broom: For all the things MJOLNIR cannot do.

    • DenimDan312 says:

      Son of a WHORE! And I was doing so well, too…

  60. desitin indabut says:

    I wonder if that Assault Mop is going to be nerfed in Halo: Reach.

  61. Uccxxxv says:

    He made the mess, now he has to clean it up.

  62. Cailus says:

    If you think this is weird, just wait for when they give the janitor Rockets.

  63. L337MA573R says:

    After the Human-Covenant war came to a draw, the job for cleanup of the majority of the destruction fell to the man responsible for it.

  64. DenimDan312 says:

    Many players were surprised after last weekend to find out what “Hell’s Janitor” really meant.

  65. Fantasia 2552 – cleaning the archives one day at a time.

  66. ZackDark says:

    Oly Oly Oxen Clean!

    • Begocer says:

      Are you on the ball?! Get on the ball! Er…broom…

  67. Jack Wingo says:

    Missed a spot… I need a weapon

  68. jVictor says:

    “Keep it clean!”

    • jVictor says:

      Damn it, just saw that one taken.

      How about “Press RB to equip Broom.”

  69. Xy Monster says:

    When Master Chief saw the job description for “Hell’s Janitor,” this is what he did not have in mind.

  70. StephaBon says:

    Proof that female Spartans exist

    • wow…really?

  71. halcylon says:

    First iPad post!!!

    “I should have never asked for Recon…”

    • Steve the Lekgolo says:

      Congrats on iPad

  72. retinence says:

    Muggles will never understand what a broom is really used for.

  73. Roaven says:

    “Let’s blow everything up! We won’t have to clean it up! Stupid kids.” *Grumbles*

  74. Babbott says:

    After Master Cheif learned he would not appear in Halo Reach, He had to go search for another job.

  75. Babbott says:

    Master Cheif – “I save the god damn world! Why the hell am I working here!”

  76. Babbott says:

    Its his BrOOMStick!

  77. Doc Shaftoe says:

    The Master Chief deal with the aftermath of a night with Bs Angel.

  78. Natonator says:

    The Australian government hires master chief to handle their asylum seeker problems.

  79. noskills117 says:

    hold RB to for….broom?

    • noskills117 says:

      I mean hold RB for ….broom?

      • noskills117 says:

        GD i mean:
        ————————-

        hold RB for ….broom?

        ——————————-
        (there we go, I fixed it.)

        • General Vaguneness says:

          Hold RB to sweep… wait what, how did you do that?

  80. Billdebeast says:

    Mistress Chief.

  81. ZZoMBiE13 says:

    “Does anyone hear the Carol Burnett Show theme music playing?”

  82. General Vaguneness says:

    I see plenty of music themed ones but fortunately not the one I was thinking of.

    You kill 16 tons and what do you get?
    Another day older and deeper in blood
    Sorry Mr. Forerunner, but I can’t go
    I owe my soul to the janitor’s role

  83. General Vaguneness says:

    People complained about the energy sword being a bad short-range weapon in the beta but it at least isn’t anything new, Halo 2 had the shotgun, Halo 3 had the mop…

  84. Steve the Lekgolo says:

    Looks like Reach just made Halo 3 his bitch
    ———————————–
    The events of Halo 3 . Reach! All the juicy stuff you didn’t see!

  85. Mendicant oxide says:

    Just when we thought bungie was firing masterchief chief shows off his moping skills

  86. The Flying Spartan says:

    You gibbed it, you mop it up.

  87. Indeed Not says:

    Halo: Cleaning Evolved

  88. A Pointless Paradox. says:

    Press X to pick up this broom.

  89. Gbair says:

    Ever since he was replaced, the Chief found comfort with the broom replaced long ago by the Swiffer.

    *cue cheesy romance music*

    • Gbair says:

      A passerby heard the former war hero-turned janitor speaking to himself: “This is my broom. There are many like it, but this one is mine.”

  90. Barky says:

    (Set after the war is over and chief’s come home)
    “Chief was that elite blood?”
    “Noooooo?”

  91. Canuck-Errant says:

    gg next mop

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