Where Every Man Has Gone Before

Hawty McBloggy Wallpaper

Three years ago today I started this silly little thing called Hawty McBloggy. Since then one of my articles found its way to the front page of Yahoo, I gave away a brand spanking new set of Recon armor, I raised almost $7,000 for Marissa’s Bunny, and I have traumatized more people than Chatroulette and 2 Girls 1 Cup combined. Despite the fact that my website is still silly and it’s obviously still small, 1,096 days have passed and you are still with me. For that I am eternally grateful. Since I can’t properly show you how much I appreciate you (apparently Princess Peach and I have at least one thing in common), I thought we could have some fun with a few statistics from the past year. So sit back and prepare to be entertained by some numbers! And by entertained I mean bored out of your fucking skull. What, did you really think things would change just because we’re embarking on year four?

tub girl cortana cosplay

750 people came to my blog searching for “tub girl” while “cortana cosplay” brought only 745 visitors. Surprisingly enough, “cortana shooting orange juice out of her anus” has not brought anybody here. Give me time people. This place has only been around three years.


The most popular article of the past year was The Dedicated Gamer: Portal. Apparently you people not only like your cake, but I’m guessing you eat it too. Oh those cake jokes, they’re still so delicious and moist. Just so you know, I’m making a note here: HUGE SUCCESS!!


The most clicked link on my entire blog thus far has been my delightfully fun forums. If you ever need hard, indisputable proof that masochists exist in this world, feel free to link them directly to this sadistic. I mean statistic. Yeah.

Halo Pick Up Lines Halo Pr0n

To be completely honest with you, these search term numbers are from the last 24 hours, not the last year. But have you ever seen a better summary of my site? Halo pick-up lines, bewbs, and Spartan pron? I bet all 46 of those people left happy. And perhaps sticky too.


Three years. 2,530 posts, 1272 about our favorite Spartan supersoldier. Whether you play Halo or don’t play Halo, whether you hate me or love me, whether you enjoy your visits or not, thank you for making this place part of your day. It wouldn’t be the same without you.
*And last, but certainly not least, a very special thank you to Halcylon, a man whose heart is the only thing bigger than his penis, for the beautiful website redesign. Lubs.

148 Responses to Where Every Man Has Gone Before

  1. xLAS3RP01NT3Rx says:

    Happy Birthday HMB!!
    And congrats to you too Angel, for sticking around this long.
    I think we’re all hoping you’re around for quite a while longer ;)
    (Where else would I get Spartan pr0n?)

    • bs angel says:

      I doubt you could get rid of me, even if you tried!

      • autoboy1 says:

        i dont know reach is out soon you might get sucked in and not reapper for anouther for years

    • cairo says:

      it’s called rule 34.

      • autoboy1 says:

        hay now you just brook rule 3 necer talk about madeup rules….. no what thats never talk about fight club……. so never mind

  2. Zwooosh says:

    Hah, I really like the new layout :D

    The post was also pretty funny :P

    And I hope this site will stay long enough for another 1,096 days :D
    It’s my favorite gaming related + the usual random stuff blog EVAR!

    Keep up the good work! :P as the cool kids say :)

    • bs angel says:

      Thank you so much. And another 1,096 days? Sounds good to me!

  3. Happy Birthday HMB!

    Thanks for all the memories!

    Feels like only yesterday I stopped by.

    • bs angel says:

      Actually, it was yesterday you stopped by. Remember, you sent me the Jackal tip! ;)

      • mendicantbias00 says:

        Ohhh yeah… the days all kinda blur together here. ;)

  4. Jim 028 says:

    Congratulations on Year 3 angel! The new layout looks fantastic! Great work on that Halcyon!

    • bs angel says:

      Thank you Jim. And Hal did a fabulous job, didn’t he? He always does such good work!

  5. Radius says:

    Epic win! I’ve only been watching about a year, but it has been an awesome year.

    By the way, while you were editing the site I got an error when I tried to check it out. It was scary ) :

    • bs angel says:

      I shut the website down when the redesign is going on so people don’t have to wade through the construction. You should know I’ll always come back!

  6. DeepCee says:

    Feels like only yesterday we celebrated year 2

    Happy Birthday HMB ! :wub:

    • bs angel says:

      That’s actually my secret. I act like it’s a year but it’s really just a day. Ssshhh, don’t tell anybody!

  7. Jussy says:

    “Surprisingly enough, “cortana shooting orange juice out of her anus” has not brought anybody here.”

    It has now!

    • bs angel says:


      • Poe says:

        Happy B-day Hawtymcbloggy. It’s been a little over a year that I started coming to your site. I now go on Daily and rarely ever miss a day(please don’t quote me on that…..dry patches argh)

        Thank you. Your lol filled images have entertained me and my friends many times.

  8. Rippolighter159 says:

    Happy Birthday!

    Wow i’ve been here for about 2 1/2 and well… it’s been alot wilder than I first thought when I came across a pink videogame website run by a girl.


    • bs angel says:

      It’s definitely changed over the years as I’ve found my way. I can only imagine where we’ll be next year!

      • Jim 028 says:

        Despite all the changes it is still pink. :D

  9. Crazy A 64 says:

    AAAAAAAAAAAARGH! I clicked the megaman link again!
    Here’s hoping things never change ;)

    • bs angel says:

      Muahahahahaha! I was hoping someone would click that one!

  10. Cozmo23 says:

    Spanks for the memories seems like only yesterday we where playing halo at 3am and you were like “Guess what im starting a Blog!”

    • bs angel says:

      And now we still play Halo at three am but instead I’m saying, “GET SOME!” as I assassinate you. Good times!!

  11. smurph says:

    happy birthday HMB and congrats bs angel! your site never fails to brighten my day.

    • bs angel says:

      Thank you my favorite little blue friend. Hey, did I ever tell you I had Smurf underwear when I was in elementary school?

  12. TofuDragon7 says:

    “cortana shooting orange juice out of her anus”

    Has just resulted in me jizzing hot tea out of my right nostril, owwies crossed with amusemental snorts.

    • bs angel says:

      Hey, it could have been worse. It could have shot out of your ass!!

  13. Schoony says:

    Happy Birthday HMB
    I’m glad to have been part of year three, and am looking forward to all of the shenanigans year four is sure to bring.

    • bs angel says:

      I’m happy Mr. Monkey brought you around these parts. It’s a better place because of you. :)

  14. JLay says:

    Happy B-day to Hawty McB!

    I love the new look. Thanks BS Angel for all your hard work. It takes the right kinda woman to keep it interesting for 3 years. I guess I now have a quest to get a cool icon for my posts…

    Now where did I put that OJ?!?

    • bs angel says:

      In your butt? And go get yourself an icon, stat!

  15. RevMDN says:


    • bs angel says:

      Thank you RevMDN. :)

  16. halcylon says:

    Happy Bday! I can’t imagine what I would have done with myself over the past 2 1/2 years. Maybe not be a grey haired 27 year old… maybe not be steril… who knows.

    All I know is that I am one luck son of a bitch :)

    Thanks for all the fish!

    • bs angel says:

      You would have had a heck of a lot more free time, that’s for sure! <3

  17. Here’s to another year of corrupting peoples minds with your devilish twist on words.

    Happy birthday!

    • bs angel says:

      Thank you much! And I can only hope to continue the adulterating. It’s definitely on my list of things to do. :)

  18. Das Kalk says:

    you continue to be a bright light in the sea of useless crap that is the internet. I hope you’ll be around for years to come.

    moar bewbs plz

    • bs angel says:

      Always at your service!

      ( . )( . )

  19. Mizzy says:

    Great new layout to celebrate your 4th year! This site has always been a great pick-me up when I wake up, and an amusing way to end the day, Keep up the great work.

    • bs angel says:

      Thanks Mizzy. I always enjoy reading your thoughts on various subjects. Sometimes I think we’re long lost sisters!

  20. Ray says:

    Pretty much been here since the beginning… and for some strange reason I plan on sticking around! =P


    • bs angel says:

      Heck, I’m not complaining! Thanks for coming by all these years. Your little one will be a regular before you know it!! Ok, not really. You should probably go ahead and put filters on your computer. O_o

      • Ray says:

        Thanks for the advice, will do! LOL!

  21. t0rm3n7 says:

    Congrats on getting to year 4!

    I hope to see even more dirty puns this next year!

    • bs angel says:

      I have a feeling some of those dirty puns will come from you!

  22. Mike says:

    this new layout is interesting, and will take a little time getting used to, i like the new banner on the halo3screenshots site though… with the elite punching the other elite in the face

    • bs angel says:

      The new designs usually take me a while to get used to as well. Your basic navigation is the same so hopefully the adjustment will be an easy one. I’m glad you like the new halo3screenshots banner! The same guy that redid this site made that as well. :)

  23. PikminGod says:

    Congrats Angel!!!

    • bs angel says:

      Thanks Pikmin! Someone else who has been with me quite some time. Thanks for that. <3

  24. Tornado says:

    congratz on three years angel!!

    • bs angel says:

      Thank you much Tornado!

  25. staticrift says:

    What a great and slightly disturbing year. Cheers Angel :D

    • bs angel says:

      Only slightly disturbing? Clearly I need to up my game. ON IT!

  26. pittofdoom says:

    Happy birthday, HMB!

    • bs angel says:

      The blog says thank you! Yes, she talks to me. But I’m guessing that doesn’t surprise you.

  27. araknoros says:

    Wow, for me this started when I found Halo3screenshots.com then i stumbled onto this, and have since set this site as one of my homepage tabs.

    Im checking here about all day ^_^

    Congrats angel!!!! You = awesome!!!!

    • bs angel says:

      I had no idea it was the screenshot site that brought you here. I think that usually goes the other way so that’s pretty neat. Thanks for supporting both of the sites!

      • araknoros says:

        Always! I check here then go look at the epic screenies you have up.

        Ive gotten many a desktop background thanx to you.

  28. KalamariKidd says:

    Happy anniversary/birthday/whatever!!

    Having three years of blogging under your belt is quite an accomplishment. Long live HMB!

    • bs angel says:

      Your kind words are appreciated. And thank you KalamariKidd for settling in both here and at the forums! It’s nice having you around. :)

  29. I certainly hope this blog stays around for ever because it’s the only one I read.

    • bs angel says:

      Well that makes me feel special! Thanks for that Queen Of Blades. <3

      • Glad to be of service. :)

  30. Happy “Hawty McBloggy” Day!

    • mendicantbias00 says:


      • bs angel says:

        So, what shall we do to celebrate? :somp:

        • mendicantbias00 says:

          Just go through that door to the left…

        • Voicedwalnut says:

          Hey that’s my line

  31. soulofaqua says:

    I SALUTE! Now make the banner a link.

    • bs angel says:


      • soulofaqua says:

        Now buy me icecream.

  32. VoltRabbit says:

    3 years… where did it all go? I remember when you launched this site, I’ve been wasting company time here ever since… how the hell do I still have this job?

    Thanks for helping to keep me sane between (and durning) calls to my desk!!!

    • bs angel says:

      So basically you’re getting paid to visit my site, eh? Sounds like a good deal to me!

  33. IcyTreats says:

    I haven’t been here for that long, but I plan on staying as long as I can!!
    Congrats, angel! :D

    • bs angel says:

      Well I expect you to stay forever now IcyTreats! I’ll put out a cot for you in the back. :)

  34. johpan says:

    Congrats and HBD and everything angel :)

    I still enjoy the fact that I don’t play Halo or even own a 360 yet your blog and content is still entertaining to me. ;D Could just be that dirty jokes exist on a level of its own, transcending the whole console war / franchise fanboy/girlism that usually separates gaming communities. Keep it coming :D

    • bs angel says:

      I’m thankful non-Halo fans can still enjoy my website. I try to balance my coverage, and sometimes I’m successful and other times I’m not. But I think you’re right, penis and bewb jokes transcend all!

  35. Where Every Man Has Gone Before…That’s what she said.

    Congrats Angel!!!

    • bs angel says:

      I was debating between going with that or one billion served and counting. Both are pretty accurate.

      And thank you Jettstream!

  36. A Shaky Shotgun says:

    All I can say is keep up the naughtiness.

    • bs angel says:

      I don’t think I could stop even if I tried. :)

  37. ShadowCat says:

    Coingrats Angel on 3 years. Its been a wild ride. My mind is so warped by this website, but i find that to be a good thing

    • bs angel says:

      I’m thrilled you spend time here HellCat. And yes, I’m still going to call you that for at least a while. :)

  38. SpaceGhost2K says:

    You were the first site with pics of the Tubgirl Faceplate I made for a particular developer as an inside joke that got out. 90% of the game sites that mentioned it at least hotlinked your pics. I’ve always thought, how bizarre that my most famous faceplate would be THAT one.

    • bs angel says:

      We’re an interesting society, aren’t we? My personal favorites are my adorable Mario faceplate and of course the super awesome Halo one. Hopefully that counts for something!

  39. DomDaBomb says:

    Congratulations, Angel. HMB = Win. <3

    • bs angel says:

      Thank you Mr. Fabulous Screenshot Taker!

  40. Thanks Angel (and the rest of the forum denizens) for a great year! We appreciate everything you’ve helped us with…

    • bs angel says:

      We appreciate you taking up residence with us. We love all the members of your family, even the furry inanimate ones!

  41. xxxJL AUDIOxxx says:

    Thank you for becoming a part of my daily routine, between you and failbooking, I’m a happy man everyday. (don’t tell anybody, but you’re funnier than failbooking) ;)

    • bs angel says:

      Failbooking, psh. You don’t know true fail until you’ve met me!! Wait, …

  42. Ben Of Bodom UK says:

    Huge congratulations, and thanks, to you Angel for three years of awesome blogging!

    HMB has been my first stop on the interwebs for a looong time now, so thankyou so much for the constant entertainment (and innuendo!).

    <3 HMB

    • bs angel says:

      Thank you for coming by for the entertainment! It thrills me to know that other people enjoy it as much as I enjoy creating it. :)

  43. cardo8 says:

    Happy McBirthday, BS. Thanks for the yuk-yuks.

    • bs angel says:

      Happy McBirthday, LOL … I love that! And thank you. :)

  44. iPurism says:

    Haha, glad to hear this is gonna go strong. I’m one of the newbies, got around 4 months here?

    • bs angel says:

      You’ll be at three years before you know it!

      • iPurism says:

        Hope so :D

        BTW, thanks for introducing me to tubgirl. -_-

  45. Kato says:

    Congratulations girl! Thank you for letting me a small part of the McBloggy empire. Here’s to many more years!!

    • bs angel says:

      Thank you for contributing to it! <3

  46. Great Post :P
    Redesign looks awesome, nice and smooth :P

    • bs angel says:

      Thank you! Glad you like the new look.

  47. Panncakez says:

    Wow… This looks… nice. It’ll take me a while to get used to this, though. Still, it’s a great redesign from the old format.

    • bs angel says:

      It always takes me a while to get used to the redesigns too so don’t worry, I understand. :)

  48. Fluid_Darkness says:

    Surprisingly enough, “cortana shooting orange juice out of her anus” has not brought anybody here.

    I just broke your cherry there.

    • bs angel says:

      Now you’re talking my language. ;)

  49. JohnBlairXBL says:

    I don’t know why I keep coming here… not to say I don’t enjoy my stay.

  50. JohnBlairXBL says:

    Nearly forgot to say, Happy Birthday, HMB!

    • bs angel says:

      Thank you JohnBlair! And you don’t have to know why you keep coming here. Hopefully you’re enjoying it though, at least a little. :)

  51. Fezzer says:

    Glad your site is a huge success. :)

    • bs angel says:

      More than that, it’s still tons of fun. Especially writing about friend’s Halo-themed birthday cakes. <3

  52. voicedwalnut says:


    I been visiting since half way through last year and well I can’t be happier that I found this site and the forums thanks for dragging me in with the comics and strange stuff here it has been… fun

    and well congrats on 3 years

    • bs angel says:

      You’ve been a wonderful addition both here and on the forums VW. I’m so happy you found us!

      • voicedwalnut says:

        yea I’m so happy I found ODSteve comics otherwise I wouldn’t be here but hey kutgw everyone here I hope the guys and girls on the bionicle forums keep making halo stuff for me to post in the forums with credit of course

  53. well, it’s now may 19th and im just getting around to saying “happy mcbirthday!” >.> <.<

    it's not my fault this time… sorta. maybe. partially. mostly. ok… it's all my fault! you happy now! X'O

    love your blog angel! and i love whatever it is that oozes around in that awesome head of your's! the blog is almost, too funny… ¬_¬

    • oh and EST says it’s 12:08… ^_^

    • bs angel says:

      There’s a lot of stuff oozing around on me, and I think the majority of it is contagious. Guess who’s fault that is?!

      • voicedwalnut says:

        it is the light shows fault

        • bs angel says:

          Ding ding ding! We have a winner!

        • voicedwalnut says:

          what do I win?

  54. Venus Envy says:

    OK first, For me I’ve been putting up with your smores & Halo shit for over 6 years now! Where’s my medal? :P

    “*And last, but certainly not least, a very special thank you to Halcylon, a man whose heart is the only thing bigger than his penis, for the beautiful website redesign. Lubs.”

    I want to see proof or it isn’t true! *wink, wink* Hal!

    Anyways, you know you are loved.. in my pants.


    • bs angel says:

      I expect you to get the proof Ash, preferably in image form please. KTHXBAI!

      And the last six years have been nothing short of a blast with you. I’ve enjoyed every second. <3

      • halcylon says:


  55. rowboat 000 says:

    Congrats! Thanks for doing what you do. ;)

    • bs angel says:

      Psh. You should be thanking Jim. He’s the one that does everything. ;)

  56. Mace Windex says:

    I love this site. It is the orange juice that shoots, glistening, from the anus that is the internet.

    • bs angel says:

      That just may be the best description of my site I’ve ever heard!

    • i’m having tubgirl flashbacks… >.<

  57. Thors toe says:

    I wish you would have found my tattoo earlier. That why I would have found you and this awesome site sooner. ^_^

    • bs angel says:

      You’re here now. That’s all that matters!

      • Thors toe says:

        Awe… ;-)

  58. Voicedwalnut says:

    Time flies by here and I always end here no matter y I go on my computer I always end up here

    or on face book

    anyway… We should have a community night for the hell of it it will be fun celebrating 3 years of work

  59. CBTrigger says:

    Im still confused as to how anything on here could result in people finding it by searching tub girl. Everything else makes sense but that.

    • bs angel says:

      The “tub girl” in the article is an active link. Clicking on it will result in the answer to your question!

      • InsaneViking says:

        It’s a trap!!

        • Voicedwalnut says:

          Admiral ackbar where have u been hiding

  60. Ragingterror says:

    Just wanted to say thank you again. You know why…

    Here’s to another year of internet shenanigans. :)

    • bs angel says:

      Thank yous are never necessary. I’ve enjoyed each and every time my path has crossed with that of you and your wife’s. :)

  61. ComaToast says:

    Well, I haven’t been here long enough to participate in the community much, but happy birthday for one, even tho this is late saying it and very far down the list. Hope I’m here for more hilarity that shall ensue as this site continues.

    • bs angel says:

      You’ve been here for a while. And as long as this place is still standing, the good times will continue to roll!

  62. I’m ultra late on commenting on this, but congrats! You do an awesome job, and I love your site ^_^

    *Throws in random comment about seeing you at PAX this year*

  63. JadeValentine says:

    I know it’s like 3 months late on the greetings but Congratulations for yet another remarkable year angel! Sorry I haven’t been stopping by your blog lately or your forums. Big changes are happening with me including moving to a different country and expecting my second kid next year :) I’ll stop by your forum one of these days and say hi. Congrats again and more power to you, your peeps here at HMB, your pr0n stuff and your blog! -Valentine

    • JadeValentine says:

      Forgot to add. LOVE LOVE LOVE the site design. Lovin’ the pink!

    • bs angel says:

      Thank you so much Valentine. A super big congratulations about expecting another little one! I hope your move goes well, and continued success for all of your ventures. :)

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