Halo 2: Did You Know?

Halo 3 Screenshot

Halo 2 has always offered witty, bite-sized pieces of wisdom on the lower left portion of the holding screen that’s visible while waiting to get paired up in matchmaking. That particular text box typically includes anything from basic performance advice to the most recent news on downloadable content. Sometime not long ago however Bungie flipped the fun switch and now in its place are a plethora of relevant, nostalgia-inducing, entertainingly sarcastic remarks. Here are the more humorous ones I’ve come across in the past few days. If you’ve seen any not listed, feel free to leave them in a comment!

  • SMG Starts! Okay, we admit it. It was a bad idea.
  • Lockout! A pixel perfect remake of Halo 3’s Guardian, the spiritual successor to Blackout.
  • If you’ve yet to experience Phantom Pistols on Waterworks, there’s still time!
  • Tired of obnoxious teammates or opponents? Use the handy mute feat..oh wait, it hasn’t been invented yet.
  • BXR. Yeah, it’s cheating.
  • Admit it, the first time you boarded a vehicle it was pretty awesome.
  • This will be the last time you’ll ever get to experience Backwash online. Bummer, eh?
  • Woosh! You know what would make this game more awesome? Jetpacks!
  • Honky Tonk! Honk your horn while driving the Warthog to alert your team mates that a ride is available! Or, you know, just to be irritating.
  • Needz Moar Laser! Know what would make this game even more awesome? The Laser.
  • Grenade Party! Can’t four-shot? Chuck some grenades.
  • Superbouncin’! Even from waaaaay down here, you still look like a douche!
  • Squat and Hobble! Although crouch-walking is slow, it makes you invisible to enemy motion detectors. It’s also a sweet way to force a fallen opponent to suck your crotch.
  • Finish the Fight! The exciting conclusion to the Halo 2 cliff-hanger wraps up in Halo 3 for the Xbox 360!
  • I am your Father! Use Voice Masking to add at least ten years to your online persona!
  • U R GARBAGE! Remember you can send hateful messages to players from the Post Game Carnage Report! “Oh, there you are!”
  • Title Update 4 adds Theater support, screenshots, and Forge to Halo 2! Coming: NEVER.
  • Dual Wielding. When all else fails, circle strafe.
  • Trouble Spot? Having problems playing on Xbox LIVE? If it’s after April 15th, we’ve got a good idea why!
  • Thanks for playing. Seriously? More than five years after launch? You’re awesome.

90 Responses to Halo 2: Did You Know?

  1. Ken Raves says:

    <3 Bungie

  2. Elitearbiter says:

    What is the BXR?

    • xLAS3RP01NT3Rx says:

      Its a button combo that makes you melee and then pop a BR shot really quickly.
      Faster than just normally smacking and shooting.

    • Crazy A 64 says:

      And also my number plate on my car :)

      • bs angel says:

        Cheater!!

      • RandomExpletive says:

        if I got that on my license plate by sheer luck, I’d cry with tears of joy… then get in a high speed car chase to show it too the world!

  3. rowboat 000 says:

    WOOSH!!!

  4. =’) so many good times… halo 2, you will be missed!

    so who wants to have a LAN party??? =D

  5. Overdoziz says:

    I saw you in Halo 2 today, BS. Twas one flag CTF on Headlong and we drawed 1-1. I got like a -10 k/d :(

    • bs angel says:

      I saw you too (we had OcR on our team, yes?). Did you talk at all? I wasn’t paying attention to the mic announcements at the bottom to see who was speaking during the actual game. It was a great match though, k/d ratio and all!

      • Overdoziz says:

        OcR, yes. They probably were the only reason we didn’t lose. :P And no I didn’t talk mainly because I was playing splitscreen with my brother and I just hate Push-To-Talk.

  6. iCeDrAgOn01 says:

    Who’s gonna be on Xlink Kai after today? :D I know I will. Bunch of kids with mods and all that kinda fun stuff! Woo!!!!

    • Kraken says:

      XLink Kai FTW.

      • bubba says:

        XBC or XBConnect is way better then xlink kai and has a better user interface alot less confusing try that before xlink kai!
        WORD

        • Kraken says:

          XBC doesn’t have a Mac client and I’ve always found the UI to be a lot more irritating. XLink Kai also supports way more games.

  7. porge says:

    It’s too late, but I’m just wondering: do original xbox games work for live with a 360?
    (I seriously don’t know…)

    • L337MA573R says:

      Yep.

      • porge says:

        Ok, thanks. i know it was kind of a stupid question, but i wanted to know

        • t0rm3n7 says:

          well not anymore…

  8. illocon says:

    But SMG starts are awesome.

    Even in H3 the SMGs are amazing. They are my weapon of choice on Valhalla because no one suspects the SMG Inquisition!

    • bs angel says:

      SMG starts on Coagulation are awesome? Really? I think you may be delirious from too much Halo 2 right now!

    • Indeed Not says:

      lolwut?

      You’re…joking, right? Right?

  9. Quark says:

    Halo 2 was my first online game. I remember my first match- it was BTB, Slayer on Containment. We won.

    It was the most fun I’ve ever had in an online video game.

  10. PikminGod says:

    So what is Phantom Pistols on Waterworks?

    Also title update 4 for H2 comes out Dec 21, 2012

    • soulofaqua says:

      Still wish to get pwned on Halo 2? Why not use XBConnect? It’s like a LAN party… without the friends and you’re still sitting there pathetically alone in your mother’s basement!

  11. 0101 says:

    Well, halo 2 multiplayer on the xbox live will be gone, but at least there’s halo 2 vista that we can play it on the internet, and the LAN parties.

  12. L337MA573R says:

    Huh. Just played it like a month ago and never noticed these. I’ll see if I see them tonight.

  13. L337MA573R says:

    B.U.N.G.L.E. Pro! Signups for the fall season begin on May 3rd. Gain access through your copy of ODST!

  14. L337MA573R says:

    “Last chance! If you want to get access to the free Halo 2 DLC, get it now. It’ll go offline on April 15th.”

  15. Personsen says:

    *Sniff* I miss Halo 2 already… :'(

  16. E X Z A says:

    Farewell H2.

    Hrm, I wonder if my Circuit City Limited Edition Halo 2 watch is worth anything.
    Never opened but, dead battery.

    • Indeed Not says:

      Hey, I got one of those watches too. Kept it for years, and although I never wore or used it, it said “Halo 2” on it and that’s all that matters.

  17. Had fun playing with ya this morning ^_^

    • bs angel says:

      I didn’t hear you talking! I did say hi though. :)

      • I said hi back! A lot of people seem to be having troubles with the voice today <.<

        • bs angel says:

          The original Xbox audio is horrible compared to the 360. I’m glad you knew I recognized you!

        • Haha, I just heard “Hey mike!” and was thinking, “Who the hell said that?” lol… then I saw your GT ^_^

  18. BigNasty21 says:

    the one about the shameless plug… crap i don’t remember. figures i’d remember the part about the plug though >_>

  19. triptup says:

    There were many I weeks I logged more H2 multiplyr hours than I worked. which is a lot, considering I own a restaurant! I dont know how I did it (lack of sleep) but those were awesome times! Goodbye Halo 2! Hello REACH!!!

  20. Dual says:

    There are a few not listed, but the only funny one is –

    “BUNGLE Pro. Sing-ups for the Fall Season begin on May 3rd. Gain access through your copy of Halo 3: ODST!”

    It’s mostly amusing because they actually spelled it “BUNGLE.”

    • It’s an inside joke type thing. http://www.bungie.net/news/content.aspx?cid=18569

    • Cheddar says:

      Herp derp.

  21. RokNTek says:

    RIP H2 Matchmaking. :(

  22. HellCat says:

    Im still playing as we speak :)

  23. the_eNeME says:

    Got two more for ya.
    Believe it or not, Bungie.net is STILL tracking all of your Halo 2 game stats!
    Shameless plug: The Halo: Reach beta begins on May 3rd! Go buy ODST.

    • hongoasdf says:

      “Believe it or not, Bungie.net is STILL tracking all of your Halo 2 game stats!”

      Indeed. They still had the stats from my last game about 4 years ago. Oh how I regret not having a Gold Account now… Not being able to send Halo 2 off with a blast will forever haunt me :'(

  24. Kraken says:

    “BXR. Yeah, it’s cheating.” – No it’s not, it’s an easily patchable bug. Their fault for not fixing it.
    “SMG Starts! Okay, we admit it. It was a bad idea.” – Probably sarcastic, but that doesn’t make it any less true. By the way, did they make dual weapons stronger with a recent patch?
    “Tired of obnoxious teammates or opponents? Use the handy mute feat..oh wait, it hasn’t been invented yet.” – Yes, the mute feature is in Halo 2, you idiots.
    “Superbouncin’! Even from waaaaay down here, you still look like a douche!” – They probably could’ve patched that too if they tried hard enough. So that’s also their fault.
    “Trouble Spot? Having problems playing on Xbox LIVE? If it’s after April 15th, we’ve got a good idea why!” – Seriously? How would anybody be reading this after April 15th? Idiots.
    “Thanks for playing. Seriously? More than five years after launch? You’re awesome.” – This feels like an insult inside of a compliment simply because I know how ridiculously passive aggressive Bungie employees seem to be.
    “Shameless plug: The Halo: Reach beta begins on May 3rd! Go buy ODST.” – Too bad you don’t need ODST anymore because, ironically enough, Microsoft is handing invites out to Halo 2 players. They obviously didn’t think that one through.

    Awesome game, but it was made by idiots that don’t realize that sometimes you have to maintain a game after you release it, not just jump into the next one. Oh, Bungie…

    • HellCat says:

      …..dude…. just no man, just no

    • Not the place to stuff like that…

    • bs angel says:

      If I didn’t know any better, I’d think Halo 2 stole your wife, killed your best friend, and ran over your dog. Jeez!

    • STFU GTFO

      You clearly know nothing about Bungie OR (more sadly) humour!

    • They were talking about the quick mute feature, not the regular mute. Jeez man, take a breather and chill out.

      • Mr Poe says:

        Successful troll is successful?

        • I remember seeing his name around before, I don’t think he’s a troll.

        • bs angel says:

          Nah, he’s not a troll. I think he’s just venting a bit.

        • L337MA573R says:

          He writes one of the comics here with same name as his username. He’s harmless. And definitely venting.

    • the_eNeME says:

      You do realize that they maintained Halo 2 actively for over 3 years before Halo 3 launched… right?

    • SonofMacPhisto says:

      RELEASE THE KRAKEN!

      Oh, it’s just really annoying, isn’t it? Oh well. *BXRs Kraken in the face*

      ;)

    • Tank says:

      Never, ever, do that again. Or I WILL BXR you.

      • Kraken says:

        How exactly are you going to do that with no Xbox Live? You gonna find me on XLink Kai?
        You all know it’s true, so what’s with the hate?

        • bs angel says:

          Kraken, you will find many intelligent people here that are willing to debate various topics in a mature and respectful fashion. Your feigned confusion with “the hate” and misunderstanding opinion as truth though is not needed to spur that. Your post was laced with anger and insults, which is fine since I’m all about people expressing their opinions. However, it was obviously staged to elicit a reaction which it did. So respond if you desire but do it with actual retorts, not with fabricated innocence.

        • You should’ve used more ;)

          Hee hee. :)

  25. Barky says:

    It’s…. ALL GONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
    :( Halo 2. I’ll miss you: 1 Flag CTF Zanzibar Blue team.My last xbox live halo 2 game ever……………………………………………WHY MICROSOFT WHY!?
    I didn’t even get to play a single game of Coagulation on Xbox live matchmaking….
    :'(

    • Nuclear Pi says:

      Same here! *Sob* but *Sniff* there is still hope… Pray that bloodgulch returns in REACH

  26. rowboat 000 says:

    It’s kind of sad, now that I played my last game. So long, Halo 2!

  27. Teddy Chan says:

    I actually played with you earlier angel. Assault on Coag, BTB. If I’m not mistaken we got our asses handed to us…Not you ofcourse, you were on the team doing the owning. Only upsetting game I had all day, lol.

    • bs angel says:

      Somehow I have a feeling I wasn’t the one doing the owning! :)

  28. Hah, my friend was super jumping, so the first time I saw that particular “Do you know” I laughed my ass off.

    Well, it was fun to play for the last time. Looking forward to Reach now.

  29. Mr Poe says:

    I’m happy about my adventures last night…I managed to play one more game of Multiflag CTF on Coagulation.

    : )

  30. t0rm3n7 says:

    In standard Halo 2 fashion, my last game was a losing battle on Zanzibar…It feels like old times :(

  31. ComaToast says:

    Ha good to know she actually did what I said to Arkonyx she should do. It’s good to have these funny little quotes compiled somewhere.

  32. VoltRabbit says:

    E-74 error took away my chance to play H2 one last time. Epic sadness is mine.

    I be sure to secure a new one before the Halo Reach beta.

  33. SonofMacPhisto says:

    ‘The Hunters have come to our aid, Arbiter!’

    <3 you Bungie

  34. Kalamarikidd says:

    Above you Bungie!!!

    • bs angel says:

      Below me Bungie!!

    • Sturmtruppen says:

      Awesome BS Angel reference!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  35. SonofMacPhisto says:

    Oh, don’t forget about Half-Jaw! He’s like Sgt. Johnson, but an Elite, which makes him more hardcore. He’s also missing half his face. Sweet.

    Yeah. That’s right, Half-Jaw>Johnson. WORT WORT WORT!

    • SonofMacPhisto says:

      Point: Johnson is good with the ladies.

      Counter-point: Half-Jaw is too busy killin’ for ladies.

      Discuss.

      • hongoasdf says:

        Half-Jaw “knows of a way in”, if you catch my drift.

      • Ladies dig scars, according to Garrus Vakarian. So if you’re missing half your jaw, then that’s like a giant scar. That’s gotta get the attention of some sangheili ladies. A military species like the elites must go nuts over battle scars.

        • SonofMacPhisto says:

          Half-Jaw and Garrus together is a little fantasy of yours, isn’t it?

          (Pro-Tip: Me too.)

        • Throw in a little bit of Thane and I’m in heaven.

        • Just make sure you don’t ingest or lick anything. Also, beware of chafing.

    • ChickenFace says:

      yea and half jaw wasn’t killed by an angry light bulb so…

  36. Awesome;Opossum;McCoy says:

    angel, Halo 2 is still online… Wort?

    • bs angel says:

      So. Tired. Can’t. Play.

      • Awesome;Opossum;McCoy says:

        What have you been doing all night, young lady, hmmmm? It’s still up, for some reason.

  37. WaywardFerret says:

    Huh. Thats funny- I got over halo 2 about 4 years ago. Oh well. Guess I won’t be playing it any time soon.

    • CyanDeadEye says:

      No “visual flair” for you in Reach then….

  38. Pingback: Goodbye Halo 2 « carocat.co.uk

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