Friday Caption Fun, Round 83

Halo 3 ScreenshotI admit that I don’t care for the majority of temporary playlists, but I find this weekend’s especially heinous. Featuring the driver-friendly Rocket Race, it never fails that I get split from my party, spawn as VIP, and then watch my dumb ass random partner run off and spend the entirety of the game trying to assassinate people. No. Fucking. Thank you. I’ll stick to captioning, and you’re welcome to join me! First up is recapping the previous set of responses and then we’ll take a look at a new picture.

  • “Quidditch: You’re doing it wrong.” (Arby)
  • “…and the ODST’s birthing process is no different, born mid-drop so they can start their training ASAP.” (halo3syourdaddy)
  • “OK, I’m on. Now pull the hammer back to enjoy a face full of my hard purple codpiece!” (JLay)
  • “And The Hammer You Rode In On.” (Money_lord)
  • “‘What’s the airspeed velocity of a spartan?’ ‘A Purple Spartan or a Yellow one?’ ‘Well I don’t know tha-‘” (Cleansing Aura)
  • “Jackson takes the term ‘low blow’ to new heights.” (Nuclear Pi)
  • “Whoa…I can totally see my house from up here!” (retinence)
  • “Yellow readily answered Purple’s demands to let her ride his disco stick.” (xLAS3RP01NT3Rx)

Well of course he acquiesced. I don’t think there’s any other answer besides yes that’s appropriate in that situation! This next predicament however definitely calls for a different response, and that response is entirely up to you. Interpret the following screenshot (preferably in the form of a witty caption) whenever you’re ready, which hopefully is now!

Halo 3 Screenshot
Author: v Elevation v

97 Responses to Friday Caption Fun, Round 83

  1. liphttam1 says:

    The only thing he would probably say is,


    • the_eNeME says:

      Heh, That’s exactly what I was about to post. =)

      I would just go with “Fuck.” as a statement (said calmly) rather than an exclamation, though. Makes it more funny, imo.

      • I prefer the good old “Aw, fuckberries.”

  2. madinator says:

    Ohh… I don´t have time for this.


    Not today sweet heart, my head is killing me.


    A bitter pill to swallow.

  3. HellCat says:

    OH SHI….

  4. They’re shooting rockets at me, and your TAKING PICTURES!?

  5. SoFickle says:

    My other Magnum is bigger..

  6. OwlAssassin says:

    Yes, I said I swallow, but this is ridiculous

  7. JLay says:

    It’s just like Red to bring a gun to a missle fight

    • JLay says:

      That’s not what I meant when I said I wanted to taste your flaming donut!

  8. Grif says:

    It’s ok, I’ve got the Halo 1 pistol.

  9. Gagazet says:

    iam twelve years old and what is this

  10. Absolute Edge says:

    Having successfully mastered his “Matrix Moves” on small calibre rounds, Red decided to step it up a notch.

    • liphttam1 says:

      I was thinking about the matrix too, but a rocket would actually be easier.

  11. MGH1138 says:


  12. Cleansing Aura says:

    “No mere rocket can penetrate my mighty Recon armour!”

  13. iPurism says:

    “When I asked for something long, hard and pointy, this is not what I had in mind. OH SHI-“

    • HellCat says:

      read before you copy

  14. Schoony says:

    Is that a rocket in your pocket or are you just happy to see…OH SHIT!

  15. mendicantbias00 says:

    “OH…I just pooped a little!”

  16. Scotty-Bob says:

    “Open wide”

  17. SHAGGYDEATH says:

    they said “shoot when you see the whites of their eyes” but What about tip of their tubes!

  18. soulofaqua says:

    This is what you get for wearing Recon, bitch.

    • soulofaqua says:

      Red learned not to shout blow me to the Blues.

      • soulofaqua says:

        Red rocket… ur doin it wrong.

  19. one crazy idiot says:

    Stop or I’ll shoot!

  20. Amaterasu says:


    “must use the force must use the force…”

  21. Hyokin says:

    Said the lady…

  22. CyanDeadEye says:

    I’ve seen bigger.

  23. Seenoht says:

    Great, now every neuron in Blue’s head is firing rockets!

  24. Red’s audition for Jackass was about to go horribly wrong.

  25. FTTinc says:

    Well I can honestly say, I wasn’t expecting THAT.

  26. I think i need a bigger Gun….

  27. t0rm3n7 says:

    A “Master Chief Rocket Slap” practice session gone wrong.

  28. Senor Leche says:

    When I decided to Google “Big Black Rocket” this is not what I had in mind.

  29. tobias grey says:

    Unfortunatly Red decided to imulate his favorite new RvB character. The META. It did not end well for him.

  30. pwkwsfi says:

    no, wait, not in the face!

    • pwkwsfi says:

      btw, that rocket has no shadow.

  31. SoC BrownSound says:


  32. Mike says:

    Red: Please be the one! please be the one! please be the one! BULLET TIME!

    … he wasn’t the one…

  33. VoltRabbit says:

    Their eyes locked, as unlikely a pair as they were, it was love at first sight.

    • Nuclear Pi says:


      I like it

  34. iPurism says:

    “Heh, I thought you were kidding about your pocket rocket”

  35. SSG TomaZero says:

    Don’t get mad. get rockets!

  36. Araknoros says:

    Got two eyes, only got one shot.

    This is what James Cameron thought the Hurt Locker was

  37. Xor1an says:

    “OK, my eyes are closed. Now when do I get my surprise?”

  38. That Geek says:

    “Don’t worry. I’m safe. It’s just your perspective.”

  39. Oddsock says:

    “Aw, there’s some dirt on the tip there…”

    • pwkwsfi says:

      oh no, was that a Dustin Diamond reference?

  40. OwlAssassin says:

    Little known fact – this is how Bungie get flaming helmets

  41. Remember Reach says:

    Halo: Revenge of the Rocket Powered Pointy Dildos

  42. Ody B says:

    Inside his Spartan armor…Raz Al Gul closes his eyes…


  44. Rakolai says:

    It was only in the middle of their William Tell re-enactment that Red realized that he had forgotten to put an apple on his head.

  45. Mr Viper says:

    UNSC budget cuts forced some Spartans to improvise other ways of transportation.

  46. XMixMasterX says:

    Never bring a gun to a missile fight.


    Haha – mine’s bigger than yours!

  47. Fushiko says:

    It turns out, it WAS a rocket in his pants and Master Chief was NOT happy to see BS Angel.

    • bs angel says:


  48. Divine Plan says:

    No missile, you can NOT has recon!

  49. halcylon says:

    Neo – “No.”

  50. Cardo says:

    I ‘reconmende’ you crouch. Now.

  51. VYPER117 says:

    Red respawned just in time to wet his codpiece and whimper “Mommy!”

  52. Techchild says:

    ”When I asked for the most explosive sausage you had, THIS IS NOT WHAT I HAD IN MIND!!”

  53. 0101 says:


  54. Personsen says:

    Thank goodness it just ran out of fuel!

  55. The Real Dr Nog says:

    i see you got extends

  56. Marksman says:

    It’s not the size, it’s how you use it.

    Missile beats Red 1!
    Missile beats the whole Red team!
    Missile beats EVERYTHING!

    And on the grassy fields of Valhalla, Red Spartan just looked up and saw the end. “OMGWTFBBQ AHHHHH”

  57. Minimac XVII says:

    Despite vigorous training excercises, Red was never taught what to do in a face-to-face with a missile scenario… so he merely gulped, thought of his wife and kids, and hoped he was covered by the UNSC healthcare.

  58. xLAS3RP01NT3Rx says:

    “Hey that’s almost as big as mi–“

  59. Corporatekiller says:

    I got my magnum, it’s on now motherf…
    High Explosive Anti-Tank warheads, ribbed for your pleasure.

  60. porge says:

    You cannot defeat me, I have more GUN!

  61. GeneralCupcakes says:

    Everyone wants Recon nowadays, even rockets!

  62. Gnome says:

    “I’m going to need a bigger gun….”

    “Offscreen: A brown spartan who got a very early copy of Halo Reach”

  63. Nuclear Pi says:

    Bungies most recent upgrade to the banhammer makes it’s debut

    BTW, something seems off in that sentence, grammar or some such thing, but I cant quite put my finger on it.

    • Billdebeast says:


      not it’s

      • Nuclear Pi says:

        cheers, I’ll remember that

  64. Malcis says:

    When blue realized that he couldn’t have recon, he did the next best thing…

  65. Kroden says:


  66. Gnome says:

    Andy the bomb’s more athletic cousin.

  67. Billdebeast says:

    Hey guys, look at this awesome mod! My pistol shoots rockets backwards!

  68. Shirdel7221 says:

    … Son of a…

  69. FinAeros says:

    “So that’s what the little red dot was for….”

  70. iAnthraxx says:


  71. augustelc says:

    i was confused as to why it was getting bigger and bigger…. and then it hit me.

    • Joystick says:


  72. The Flying Spartan says:

    “I thought we fixed the Patriot issue!”

  73. Nuclear Pi says:

    Myth: Recon armour deflects ludicrously oversized rockets
    Status: ……

  74. xxxJL AUDIOxxx says:

    DISCO STICK, SLIPPERY PICKLE, BOLOGNA-PONY, SATANS’S PENIS, all random funny words that have nothing to do with the screenshot. Sorry, I had nothing.

  75. RC Master says:

    “Oh look! A blue rocket! Maybe he knows the way to Blue Base”

  76. SonofMacPhisto says:

    ‘I’d never betray you, Shepard. Warriors like you and me? Straight to the face.’

    • SonofMacPhisto says:

      I misquoted. Sorry. ‘I’d never stab you in the back, Shepard. Warriors like you and me? Straight to the face.’

  77. Indeed Not says:

    What the? Giant missiles in Halo? I call hax, and I wish the wrath of the Banhamm…BOOM!

  78. Ny Hitman 0401 says:

    Halo. Where Amazing Happens.

  79. coolguywithahat says:

    “Well, well, well… we meet again.”

  80. hongoasdf says:

    “Recon; A giant Bullseye on the back of your head?”

    “Oh… so THIS is what they meant with ‘Crazy Sausage’ ”

    Alternately, simply “Crazy Sausage”

    ” ‘Oh hey there little doggy! Come over here!’ – That day, Red had forgotten his glasses”

  81. Mr Maliwop says:

    It just keeps going and going…

  82. iPrO x S33K3R says:

    `Dodging Rockets`
    Youre doing it wrong!

    who said that!?

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