Keeping It Clean in the Bedroom

Halo 3: ODST Blanket

My kitchen is spotless, my bathroom is germ-free, and there isn’t a speck of dust upon any of my shelves. My bedroom however is a completely different story as dirty reigns supreme, and that’s exactly why this Halo 3: ODST-themed blanket would be a delightfully ironic complement to an otherwise deliciously salacious setting. Made by the Superintendent-obsessed Grace as a gift for her equally enthusiastic fiancé, I just hope this isn’t a hidden message about boundaries in the bedroom. While you’re more than welcome to follow the well-intended Keep It Clean advice, it’s worth noting it’s so much more fun when you don’t.

37 Responses to Keeping It Clean in the Bedroom

  1. That is awesome. I want one.

  2. Crazy A 64 says:

    Does the other side have a sad Superintendent for when things get… “Messy”? O_o

    • Tree12324 says:

      (\ /)
      More of an angry face for getting him dirty…

  3. What if i want to go dirty?

  4. HellCat says:

    This is much better than the shitty plain blanket i bought yesterday…. If i find out who this talented woman is then maybe i can acquire the blanket through non “keeping it clean” techniques. Oh i know what the ladies like

    • Xerone says:

      She has a fiancé, my good man!

      • HellCat says:

        Yeah. i wasnt serious. i was joking. i like keeping it clean

    • Felipe 058 says:

      What, like armor plating, grinding treads, and superior firepower?

      • MGH1138 says:

        No. Money. They like money.

      • Marksman says:

        A long barrel…

        …and something along the lines of “Action Sack”.

  5. SoC BrownSound says:

    That is so cool! I definitely would get one

  6. Mike says:

    If i was to buy that, I’d probably take it out of the room when things got messy. You know, to protect it. Looks like it shows wet.

  7. MGH1138 says:

    Angel is so dirty….

    I like. :D

  8. I want that, that’s so cool. I just got a new mattress and sheets to replace the ones I had for the last 13 years. And that would match the color of my room pretty well.

  9. Ragingterror says:

    DO WANT.

    If nothing else, it will be quite appropriate for the spare bedroom for those rare occasions I may find myself “in the doghouse”.

  10. JLay says:

    Activate the blacklight to reveal the hypocrisy!

    It’s probably going to end up looking like a Jackson Pollock painting.

  11. RevMDN says:

    Yes, I want one also.

  12. Helveck says:

    Must have. But I don’t think the SI would be too happy with the things that go on. Maybe I’ll have the decency to leave him on the floor.

    Even better, during the most intimate times how hilarious would it be if it spoke, “remain calm!” and “obey posted speed limits!” XD

    • Paul says:

      Please keep it clean XD

      please put the junk in the provided bin lol

      ( think about the last one if you must)

  13. Hyokin says:

    Bungie should make those and sell ’em in their store. I know I’d buy one! :D

  14. Morpheus says:

    I have to buy that. NOW.

  15. Gilver says:

    My bedroom is always messy. I want that blanket though. It may remind me to keep things cleaner in there than they normally are. Or it may just end up being crumpled up at the foot of the bed and join the rest of the room’s messyness.

    /the most innocent comment here


  16. Awesome.

    I would buy this in a heartbeat lol

  17. C’mon people, you know during business time he does this: d[^_^]T

    • ReverendTiki says:

      Or the one where he’s winking

      • Exactly, RevTiki. The Super is a groovy guy.

  18. Atlas says:

    Wouldn’t it be creepy, when things got hot and heavy, there’s jst this big pair of eyes staring at you?


  19. SolarClipz says:

    That’s fk’in hilarious!
    I need to get me one of these!

    Potential for sexual references.

    • bs angel says:

      I read that as pubic access fyi.

      • Hunter says:

        So did I…

        • SolarClipz says:

          That was the joke.

  20. Zerowind117 says:

    Do want.

  21. XMixMasterX says:

    That’s SO much better than the quilt I got from grandma!

    • robert says:

      Wow what a huge F.U. to your grandma who prolly spent weeks making that for you you ungrateful dick.
      I’d take that over anything my grandma could make too.

      • Backspaceit says:

        lol tuche my good man. for this current time grandma can give it to the lonely step-child…then I take it from the bastard.

  22. Geoff (Zag) says:

    I’d say something like “NO OVERNIGHT PARKING”, but every one already took the gems. That looks like a cozy, smooth bedspread, if i do say so myself.

  23. Kevin says:

    Dude i envy you

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