Friday Caption Fun, Round 73

Halo 3 ScreenshotIf you enjoy padding your experience effectiveness stats over at Halo Charts, you’ll be interested in knowing that Halo 3 is featuring the ODST-inspired Prepare to Drop playlist this weekend. The whole thing confuses me as I don’t understand why you would play something that’s supposed to be like ODST but with a shitty Magnum instead. I think I’ll stick to Firefight and captioning, thank you very much! Speaking of which, let’s recap last week’s answers and then tackle a brand new screenshot, shall we?

  • “After waiting for the sniper rifle to respawn for two years, Red finally realised the game was set to ARs only.” (Mr Viper)
  • “Now that I have the power of the SPARTANs, I shall return to Eternia and CASTLE GREYSKULL WILL BE MINE! HA-HAHAHAhahaha!” (Anton P. Nym)
  • “Not care what Master Chief say. Mumbo Jumbo best shaman in Mombasa.” (Fiesta)
  • “When his teammates told him he looked like death, he didn’t realize that wasn’t an exaggeration.” (Queen 0f Blades)
  • “Peter Jackson canceled Maria Shriver’s part in the Halo movie once he realized the Hi-Def cameras were not kind to her.” (JLay)
  • “Skel33tor: “I must find MLGxXHemanXx!” (Wasiq)
  • “Grams always did go a little too heavy when applying her eyebrow makeup in the morning.” (Ash)
  • “Well, at least now we know why Spartans don’t remove their helmets.” (ZZoMBiE13)


I do believe ZZoMBiE13 just ruined every single one of my Halo-related fantasies in one fell swoop. Oh, I’m just kidding. That’s not the head I care about anyways! Speaking of which, check out this Spartan’s long barrel. It seems slightly … bent. Surely that makes for good captioning fodder, yes? I guess we’re about to find out. Off you go!

Halo 3 Screenshot
Author: TheSpartan31

78 Responses to Friday Caption Fun, Round 73

  1. ElusiveEagle says:

    You know what they say about having a slight bend in the barrel…

  2. ElusiveEagle says:

    I SWEAR it came this way!

  3. Don’t laugh! My mom says we are all special in our own way!

  4. ReverendTiki says:

    That waskly wabbit!

  5. Narroc says:

    oh, that’s why sniping got so hard

    • Mizzy says:

      hur hur you said hard.

  6. Pete Cooper says:

    The newly developed sniper rifle was capable of shooting around the corners of buildings and was perfect for urban environments. Recon asked herself why she had been issued one for use in the desert. She had no clue.

  7. WrekTaFyr says:

    They do say sagging comes with age.

  8. Louis Wu says:

    Yes, I did it myself. I needed an excuse for all the missed shots!

  9. Scotty-Bob says:

    He had perfected the “Gears Of War shot”.
    (Now he never has to leave cover)

  10. Monkey_lord says:

    Seeing how purple is always getting killed in Speed Demons on Dish of Doom, he decided to increase his survival rate with “modifications.”

  11. OwlAssassin says:

    You know, Borderlands have over 3 1/2 million guns.
    I think Bungie’s new release is grasping at straws….

  12. XMixMasterX says:

    Talk about Erectile Dysfunction!!

  13. jVictor says:

    This is what happens when you mess with the “Laws of Physics” setting.

  14. MrAchievables says:

    Dammit! Not Again!

  15. TrAvIs 6t6 says:

    Purple was lucky to have survived an encounter with a mad gravity hammer wielding brute, her sniper was not so lucky.

  16. Oddsock says:

    Purple was so excited about a surprise new custom weapon from ODST to be put into multiplayer, but was thoroughly saddened when it happened to be Romeo’s sniper.

  17. sidewaysimpreza says:

    Forget the barrel, my bi-pod is totally munted!

  18. Mike says:

    don’t laugh, this gun saved romeos life…

  19. Gin says:

    Romeo’s rifle sold for 25 cents on ebay.

  20. General Vagueness says:

    The UNSC’s attempt at reverse-engineering a gravity lift unfortunately was too small and too strong. This Spartan didn’t mind however as it gave him something to back up his planned humorous response the next time someone asked him “How’s it hanging?”.

  21. Billdebeast says:

    now, EVERY shot is a ricochet!

  22. L337MA573R says:

    Look on the bright side: if you’re lucky, it can hit that “spot” easier.

  23. Chris101b says:

    See, even sniper rifles have droopy days.

  24. Terminator182 says:

    Purple forgot about how gentle he had to be when picking up stuff with his armor on.

  25. Mr Viper says:

    “The introduction of the Mr Bendy in Halo:Reach took corner camping to a horrific new level.”

  26. porge says:

    i accidently my sniper

  27. NartFOpc says:

    Early prototype for the beta handicap system that was eventually removed from Halo 3.

  28. Gnome says:

    “When he said he was as straight as a gun barrel, people always forgot exactly what kind of hardware he was packing.”

    “If Picasso designed weapons”

    “Mr Recon was slightly miffed when his wife accidentally bent his barrel, but he has to admit that doubles has never been so much fun before.”

    “BS Angels weapon of choice. The barrel bends to automatically target teammates”

    “After repeated use Recon just couldn’t keep it up anymore”

    “Pictured above: What happens when they switch out your viagra for muscle relaxant”

    • ZZoMBiE13 says:

      That “Picasso” line is priceless. I hope that one gets picked! :)

      • Gnome says:

        I was up all night thinking that line up, so thanks >.>

  29. Ny Hitman 0401 says:

    Blame Stosh…

  30. Andrew says:

    The Spartan Warrior unveils his new top secret weapon for shooting around corners.

  31. Felipe 058 says:

    Romeo finally got in Dare’s pan–er, I mean armour, but unfortunately his, er, *weapon* was still bent from their last top secret…”mission”.

    • Felipe 058 says:

      Too much?

  32. Amaterasu says:

    “DAMN YOU CERN!!!”

  33. deora says:

    DAMN YOU SNIDLEEEEEEY!

  34. Rakolai says:

    Bungie’s latest Matchmaking Update has significantly reduced the amount of players rushing to grab the sniper rifle.

  35. xCxSTRYKEx says:

    New leaked screenshots for Halo: Reach confirm a new feature – real time weapon damage!

  36. ZZoMBiE13 says:

    Milton was SO pissed that the bullys bent the barrel on his cardboard sniper rifle that he just couldn’t go to HALO-CON 2010

  37. ZZoMBiE13 says:

    BRAND NEW for Halo: Reach, it’s Snipe-WOW! Perfect for taking that critical no-scope then packing it up for storage under the bed with your “Tony Little Gazel” and “Ginsu” Knives! ORDER NOW!!!

  38. Das Kalk says:

    you know, when I told you to bend it like beckham, I was talking about soccer…

    • Das Kalk says:

      purple’s malfunctioning sniper rifle made his no scope to the dome that much more impressive…

  39. ZZoMBiE13 says:

    After reading “Excalibur”, Purple thought he’d try a “Sniper in the Stone” approach to weapon placement. Results were not as fruitful as he’d hoped they’d be.

  40. Cailus says:

    Red: Blue, why the f*ck is your barrel bent?
    Blue: Dunno…my girl said it was kinky…

  41. Cardo says:

    “Talk to your doctor about Cialis today.”

  42. tobias grey says:

    When Purple saw the distortion he realized that the Covenant, the Flood, everything was really just the Matrix. That or he really needed to stop eating the mushrooms on the bath mat.

  43. Indeed Not says:

    Purple Spartan had never given Global Warming a second thought until his sniper started melting.

  44. Whitehawk13 says:

    The Covenant had finally caught on to the Spartans’ tendency to take weapons from fallen enemies.

  45. Dolo says:

    This puts a new meaning to “corner glitching”.

  46. Ever since that fat Spartan rode his sniper like a horse things were never the same…

  47. Someone says:

    Thats no sniper!

  48. SonofMacPhisto says:

    I’m leaving the Rookie bad feedback on Ebay. Jerk.

  49. Uccxxxv says:

    And this is why Dali never designed video games.

  50. PeterSimp says:

    No, he doesn’t shoot at me, he just shoots the ground around me

    Note to self, brutes are stronger than sniper rifle barrels

    And you thought the U.S. army didn’t have up to date equitment

  51. ODST Alpha says:

    Someone swam to the surface too fast and got a case of the ‘bends’.

  52. “Oh, so THIS was the rifle that killed JFK. For a rifle this wonky, Magic Bullet theory really seems plausible.”

  53. pwkwsfi says:

    TheSpartan31 reveals himself as the great Al Jaffee.

  54. QuackJAG says:

    Mr. Recon didn’t realize he had just picked up a sniper rifle that Jerry had just used to hit Tom over the head with.

  55. Waffle Deluxe says:

    Kinky

  56. DethPwn says:

    *cues wah-wah music and laughing girls*

  57. Visitor at home says:

    That’s not going to fire anything ever again.

  58. StephaBon says:

    Spartans that wear Recon aren’t all they’re hyped up to be…

  59. Will Pwn 4 Food says:

    You bend the bullet, not the barrel!

    Gamertag: xXDaliManXx

  60. Begocer says:

    Elevator camping has its drawbacks when using a sniper rifle: the doors close way before the campers done….

  61. The Real Dr Nog says:

    the spartan was very sad when the snipers started insulting his gayness by becoming bent

  62. The Flying Spartan says:

    What do you mean it’s not symbolic?

  63. Desert Rat says:

    “I guess I slept on it wrong”

  64. InventiveArgument says:

    Although Purple Spartan swore that ODST was a rip-off of the original, even he got dragged into the latest “Rookie Scene Recreation” fad.

  65. not even the magic of Recon can fix a bent Boomstick.

  66. Zee-V70 says:

    “I’ve gone limp!”

  67. Personsen says:

    TOLD YOU THE SNIPER IS BROKEN!!! >_<

  68. Fushiko says:

    It get’s longer if ya give it a tug.

  69. Babbott says:

    The sniper rifle reflex his crooked personality

  70. Behetium Therium says:

    NEW! Sniper variant of the Israeli Kitty-Cornershot, now with a lot less kitteh! Recon approved! Buy yours TODAY!

  71. Shirdel7221 says:

    Dare realizied she shouldn’t have asked to borrow Romeo’s Sniper.

  72. Morpheus300 says:

    If Romeo ever borrows my sniper again, He’s TOAST! Y’hear?

  73. CyanDeadEye says:

    The UNSC decided to salvage any weapons left behind in New Mombasa instead of making new ones, even Romeo’s Sniper was found in the hands an unlucky purple spartan.

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