Friday Caption Fun, Round 69

Halo 3 ScreenshotI missed my regular Halo sessions last weekend so today finds me suffering from serious withdrawal symptoms. Thankfully the current Double EXP playlist of choice, the always enjoyable Grifball, is one of my favorites meaning I can look forward to two solid days of alternating between pounding and getting pounded. Before I go off in search of my hammer, let’s recap last week’s rather witty responses and then we can caption yet another Halo 3 screenshot!

  • “Try as she might, Dare just couldn’t move her head from the Velcro wall.” (Jussy)
  • “In the place of a Dark Lord you would have a Queen! Not dark but beautiful and terrible as the Morn!” (Pete Cooper)
  • “Does this angle make my jaw look any smaller?” (JLay)
  • “Stay perfectly still… their vision is based on movement.” (Das Kalk)
  • “Your rollover minutes are perfectly good! Not everyone gets to keep their unused minutes, you know.” (A Deaf Boy)
  • “Everything was going so well, until Dare spotted Gaius Baltar in the Data Hive ….” (Iago 462)
  • “Dare thought the mood lighting did wonders for her face. The Rookie, on the other hand, did not.” (Absolute Edge)
  • “Dare’s face when she realised what the strange and unfamiliar octopus-like alien was really attempting to do.” (Crazeye0)


Mmmmmmm … tentacles. Is it getting hot in here or is it just me? While I battle the increasing amount of perspiration beads suddenly adorning my forehead, how about you stay busy by taking a gander at our newest ODST-themed screenshot? You can even come up with a funny caption to go along with it if you so desire. I don’t mind one bit, promise!

Halo 3 Screenshot
Author: o DomDaBomb o

128 Responses to Friday Caption Fun, Round 69

  1. bs angel says:

    FIRST!

    Hey, it’s Round 69. Who else did you think would be first in line?

    • How are there not 69 thumbs up yet?!?!

      • Sean C84 says:

        I assure you, the internet is working on it.

  2. Pete Cooper says:

    “GET YOUR OWN TAUNTAUN!”

    • ALTEX says:

      my god man, people like you are the reason they took the dinosaurs out of halo 1, way to ruin it for the rest of us.

  3. Arby says:

    The Warthog, Zebras’ most deadliest predator.

  4. cardo says:

    Is this zebra related to Dare? Just look at the size of its jaw!!

  5. cardo says:

    Dude, PETA is going to have your ass…

  6. Jillybean says:

    Ze horse! She is dead!

  7. AvalonTreman says:

    Well, New Mombasa IS in Africa…

  8. IcyTreats says:

    “I’ve gotta try an’ patch up the zebra, we hit it hard.”

    “You know, Dutch, getting the Warthog’s wheel of it’s side might do it some good.”

    • Sierra-777 says:

      WIN.
      The tire looks like it actually is on the zebra’s side XD

      • Arby says:

        =O Really?!

        • IcyTreats says:

          O.O
          I know I’m funny, but there are alot more better ones….. :(

        • Arby says:

          I wasn’t referring to you Icy, I was referring to Sierra-777 ;)

  9. EliteXDeath says:

    “We have an animal down! Get a medic!… Vet!… Or whatever we need to get this zebra back in action.”

  10. MrCrazy says:

    “Call base, its barbeque time!!!”

  11. Dude…NO ONE is going to believe that you thought it was a Brute.

  12. “It’s all fun and games until you hit a zebra.”

    OR

    “This is what happens when you buy the Halo upgrade for Zoo Tycoon. Poor, poor zebra.”

  13. Das Kalk says:

    “Alright calm down, calm down, this isn’t as bad as it looks. We’d better plant a pistol on him to be sure… I know how these things go down”

    ——————–

    “alright, we’ll just stick the needle in here for his vaccinations and- uh oh…”
    “what? what is it?”
    “I do believe I’ve killed him”

    ——————–

    “you may have killed him when you ran him over thirty times, you may have killed him when you tea-bagged him. I don’t know, I’m not a doctor”

    ——————–

    “EEWWWWWW i don’t want to cut him open just to stay warm!”
    *squish*
    “you know it’s not so bad once you Feng Shui the organs.”

    ——————–

    • way to use family guy quotes there kalk

      • Das Kalk says:

        only 3 out of 4 crazed. way to tell everyone -_-

  14. Damn World of WarCraft crossovers!!

    ____

    After installing the Zebra-Catcher on the front of the Warthog, the Rookie was eager to try it out.

    • pwkwsfi says:

      yeah, if it had a horn, it would be a zhevra. wait, the warthog has a horn. no problem!

  15. A Deaf Boy says:

    “You’re right. There’s no trace of lilac berries. That’s so weird, though. She shows all the classic signs of Meliatoxicity…”

  16. Cleansing Aura says:

    – Oh my God, Oh my God. ONI is gonna have our asses for this! WE’RE SCREWED. DAMMIT.

    -Just calm down. Look. It was dead when we found it right? RIGHT?

    -Sure, ok. Whatever. Now lets get out of here!

    -Slow down – first we need to get rid of the ride, the booze and the weed.

    -How are we gonna do that?

    -Let’s go say high to the brutes…

  17. The Last Hunter says:

    The ODST’s were stunned when they saw that the warthog came riding on the zebra

  18. What’s black and white and red all over? Roadkill.

  19. SkelBrute says:

    “Hoo boy, this new pistol’s got some kinda range on it, don’t it Bubba? And its got good knockdown power, too! Wait til Leroy and Donnie Ray hear that I shot this here zebra all the way from them cranes back yonder with this little thing! You get all this on film? Ya think we’ll get our own hunting show for this? Come on man, let’s get him in the truck!! “

  20. Yami says:

    “… ho’kay.. Now we got nuclear winter and everyones dead… except Africa.. And their gonna be dead soon… Damn -scibbled over word- zebras”

  21. 10 seconds later, they proceeded to teabag the corpse.

  22. InventiveArgument says:

    Food chain of Halo: Warthog-Zebra-Odst

    “The ODST’s laughed at my name for the new vehicle, well, when this baby drops from 1000 feet right onto there warthog, who’ll be laughing then?”

    Although quick and equipped with camouflage the new covie Z.E.- B.R.A vehicle failed to inspire fear into their enemies

  23. Mizzy says:

    “YELLLLEEEERRRRR!” ;_;

    • Mizzy says:

      Wow, is everyone too young to even get that ref?

    • Poopie McGhee says:

      I got it…

  24. BerserkerBarage says:

    When a daddy Warthog and a momma Zebra love each other very much…

    ~B.B.

  25. Monkey_lord says:

    When Dutch saw that the Rookie has a golden zebra, he tried to catch one on his own.

    Hey dude, when I said fire the tranquilizer; I did not mean to use the chain gun.

    • Monkey_lord says:

      Here we see a screen shot of a remake of Jurassic Park with a Halo cross over. Continuation of the movie was questioned as the title “New Mombasa Uplift Reserve in the middle of a covenant invasion with a bunch of ODST’s” was a bit long among other things.

  26. And THAT is why you don’t use a zebra in a donkey show!

  27. Mr Viper says:

    “I swear it just jumped right out infront of me!”
    “But we were PARKED”

  28. BC says:

    “And they say they smell bad on the outside…”

  29. rowboat 000 says:

    Puma – 1
    Zebra – 0

  30. JLay says:

    Acheivement Unlocked – Earned Your Stripes
    Get a splatter kill on a zebra in multiplayer campaign.

  31. Skeah says:

    SHUT UP WARTHOG, GET ON MY HORSE.

    (http://shutupwomangetonmyhorse.com/) >_>
    *shrugs*

  32. Sarge Tomzilla says:

    “Alright Rookie, just follow my lead on this and don’t say anything. It came out of nowhere and charged us, we had no other choice but to gun it down. Got that?”

  33. Silen7 Sam Strikes Back says:

    Its better then Swine Flu…

  34. Owl Assassin says:

    And we, we are the zebras!
    Wait, that’s wrong…

  35. L337MA573R says:

    + “It’s getting closer!” “No it’s not! If it was, it would be getting bigger!” “It is getting bigger! Look at it!” “I am looking at it!” BOOM! “Yep, you’re right.”

    + “Grab a plasma pistol, we can make this work.”

    + “Ummm…….oops?”

    + “Dibs!”

    + “Thank god Peta’s HQ got blown up.”

    + “Is god giving me lemons? Because I can’t find any sugar in this situation to make lemonade out of.”

  36. Mike says:

    i hear this is how swine flu started… youve doomed us all!

  37. halcylon says:

    You saw it, right? It jumped out in front of me. I couldn’t do anything… You saw, that’s what you saw right?

    Dude… we’re in a zoo… You’re fucked.

  38. Tactful says:

    It don’t matter if you’re black or white; It only matters if you’re both.

    —–

    The alternative ending to Racing Stripes was quickly vetoed by test audiences.

    —–

    When jokingly Buck asked “What’s black, white and red all over?” the Rookie swiftly answered.

    —–

    Fans of the series were surprised to hear that Halo: Reach was actually a crossover between the Halo universe and Dreamwork’s Madagascar.

    —–

    The Rookie gained his miltary stripes the hard way.

    —–

    Planting the Magnum on the body was easy; The hard part was making it look like suicide…

    —–

    The ODST’s mission became personal when the Covenant began recruiting begrudged earth species to fill out their ranks.

    —–

    Rookie wasn’t sure which he regretted more; Killing a member of an endangered species, or wasting that last Spartan Laser shot.

    —–

    Dropping to one knee and yelling a ‘Big No’ into the heavens, Buck mourned the untimely passing of Dare.

    • JLay says:

      WIN on the “making it look like a suicide” one!

  39. General Vagueness says:

    Having finally beat the dead horse until it disintegrated, Halo speculators moved on to a dead zebra.
    ______________________________________________________________________________

    “What, you dared me to kill it.” “No, I said Dare told us not to kill them.”
    ______________________________________________________________________________

    “He’s dead, Jim.”

    • Thumbs up for the “He’s dead, Jim.” :D

  40. Tactful says:

    After extensive research on the history of Human-Human Conflict, the Covenant came up with their own version of the Trojan Horse. Coincedently you can fit a surprising amount of Suicide Grunts in a drained carcass.

  41. Zerowind117 says:

    “Are you honestly going to try and tell me that you thought that zebra was a ‘serious security breech’? I’d believe it was turned into a weapon agianst its will by the Covanent, but not that it was a spy man.”

  42. Sean Bradley says:

    The UNSC Zebra didn’t prove to be nearly as dependable on the battlefield as other animal themed vehicles.

  43. Speedhuntr says:

    “Ohhh sh*t!”
    “Mufasa is going to be PISSED.”

  44. SonofMacPhisto says:

    ‘You didn’t see it? Really Dutch? I’m sorry, I didn’t think you really were color blind.’

  45. SonofMacPhisto says:

    After finishing up the horse, HBO moved on to the dead zebra.

  46. QuackJAG says:

    *Cue Titanic music.* “Goodnight. Sweet prince. As flights of angels sing thee to thy rest.”

  47. Leafman says:

    “Tie it to the roof, looks like we going to be having Zebra cakes for awhile.”

  48. AusQB says:

    “Hmm, they must’ve recycled them from Far Cry 2.”

  49. SIR COFFEE says:

    One ODST to the other: Is it just me, or is that zebra far larger than it should be?

  50. Gunlat3M says:

    The ODST’s Command Officer buckled down.”Exactly how am I supposed to report this?! You want New Mombasans up my ass about their tax dollars being spent by joyrides and roadkill?”

  51. Dust and Echoes says:

    “We both agree that if anyone asks, the covenant killed him.”

    “Yeah. Now let’s get the car out of here. It was ‘damaged in combat'”

  52. jVictor says:

    “Everything’s bigger in Mombasa. Everything.”

  53. MasterCheifn says:

    “He’s dead, Jim.”

  54. Sc4r says:

    “What am I gonna tell chelsea?”
    “She doesn’t need to know”

  55. borrowedchief says:

    I swear it was like that when I got here.

  56. Personsen says:

    “Dad’s going to be so pissed!”

  57. Poopie McGhee says:

    “You’re gonna have to put it out of it’s misery”

  58. Surrender says:

    TANTRUM!

  59. Elnea says:

    “I’m taking him home and nursing him back to health. I’ll love him, and hug him, and call him George. Or maybe Mister Stripey.”

  60. Wasiq says:

    “Just hold on Swiftyshift, I just need to skin 15 more Zhevras until I get to buy the Expert Skinning Training.”

  61. Gnome says:

    “Several ODST’s decide to celebrate the 69th Friday Caption fun, but unfortunately they couldn’t afford entertainment. They decided that the zebra would have to do.”

    “Two ODST’s try to reennact the Tauntan scene in starwars.”

  62. Tree12324 says:

    :'(

  63. OM NOM NOM NOM NOM!

  64. Nelmo Nelmz says:

    I know just the right tune, to put this zebra, back on his feet…

  65. The Flying Spartan says:

    “Aw, damn it, they took the free refill coupon!”

  66. Don113 says:

    “So…..you gonna eat that?”

  67. Ebon Blade says:

    “People who’ve ever said that something ‘was as much fun as going to the zoo and seeing all the animals dead’ totally did not know what they were talking about.”

  68. NickBeam says:

    holy crap ! omg omg man is it breathing ? wtf wtf ! DUDE GET THE CAR OFF IT ALREADY !

  69. petetheduck says:

    “Great, now we’re going to have to have our Warthog put to sleep”

    Early in Foe Hammer’s career, she wasn’t always as skillful in delivering Warthogs to the front line

  70. StephaBon says:

    No one would have guessed, but Warthogs kill Zebras in the wild.

  71. UnluckyIrish14 says:

    This is when they realized they needed to put “Zebra Crossing” signs all over New Mombasa.

  72. Basic Paul says:

    Why is this zebra so damn big.

  73. pwkwsfi says:

    “I still can’t tell: white with black stripes, or black with white stripes?”

  74. Fushiko says:

    Dutch was just kidding when he threw out the idea of crossing a warthog with a zebra, but rookie took it one step further…

  75. xLAS3RP01NT3Rx says:

    I’m gonna take it home and stuff it, Mommy!

  76. ablestmage says:

    What do you mean you think it was Voldem.. that’s unicorns, idiot! UNICORNS!

  77. Zee-V70 says:

    “That Zebra said it would be killed when pigs fly!”
    “Well, it looks like…
    the Warthog ramped.”
    YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH

  78. Das Kalk says:

    “Buck and Dutch’s drive HOME from Vegas was much more eventful than their time IN Vegas”

    ———————–

    “Oh man, Brussels is gonna be pissed”

    How’s that Crazed?

  79. Ny Hitman 0401 says:

    “Oh Shit… Leroy… We hit it…”

    or….

    “Mom… this is why I drive…”

  80. Gnome says:

    “While rehearsing for a show they were going to put on in mexico, they suddenly raelized that there is no such thing as a black and white striped donkey.”

    “The news once reported that a man was sexed to death by a horse (I kid you not), today that man’s brother gets his revenge.”

  81. Jagged-117 says:

    -“White meat or dark meat?”
    -“Both!”

  82. Xenokyro says:

    “After this tragic encounter, Dutch gained an everlasting phobia of safaris.”
    __________

    “Dutch and the Rookie really outdid themselves on this year’s annual Pinata Party.”

  83. wrinklycat says:

    It would seem in your anger…. you ran her over

  84. porge says:

    and I thought they smelled bad on the outside

  85. DethPwn has pneumonia! says:

    The demos for Africa were… bug-infested, to say the least

  86. Touya says:

    “You know private, when you said ‘I’d hit that,’ at first I thought you were one of those weird furry people…now you’re just sadistic”

  87. Tactful says:

    Yo Zebra, I’m happy for you, and imma let you finish, but Mufasa had one of the most dramatic animal deaths of all time!

  88. Whitehawk13 says:

    Dr. Cox: You hear hooves, you just go ahead and think horsey, m’kay?
    __________________________

    ODST 1: Please tell me this isn’t the ‘prototype transport’ the General was on about…

  89. Will Pwn 4 Food says:

    Ever wonder why zebras are endangered? Now you know.

  90. DTA MoonDawg says:

    “Even 500 years in the future, poaching is still a serious threat to the animals of New Mombasa.”

    “Ew, we got zebra bits in the gril!”

    • DTA MoonDawg says:

      grill*

      Damn “L” key is sticky….for reasons completely unrelated…

  91. The Splatterer says:

    “OMG OMG OMG! this is bad this is really really bad!” “I know, oh my gosh i can’t believe it!” “this is so bad just look at the dent in the warthog dad is gunna kill us!”

  92. L3377MA573R says:

    I’m sorry, but me and friend couldn’t resist the urge to one-up this guy.

    http://www.bungie.net/Online/Halo3UserContentDetails.aspx?h3fileid=100400750

    • IcyTreats says:

      “The grill ate the zebra’s face! Noooooo!”

  93. Absolute Edge says:

    Nope, this one doesn’t have any candy either. I’m beginning to think Romeo was lying to us…

  94. Mikey Rocks says:

    Its fine its fine don’t freak out, just sprinkle some crack on him and lets get out of here.

  95. CapturetheBomb says:

    “Hog beats EVERYTHING!!!”

    “Lets plant a gun on him. I know how these things go down.”

    • CapturetheBomb says:

      Forgot one.

      “I’m telling ya dude, it is white with black stripes, not black with white stripes.”

    • CapturetheBomb says:

      Okay, last one.

      “I told you already. I thought it was the Brute’s mount. It rejected my hijack, so I had to destroy it so it couldn’t be used by those gorillas. They are both from Africa right?”

    • KkilljoyGruntT says:

      Oh trust me, they ‘go down’ quite nicely!

  96. Morpheus300 says:

    An Excellent Diagnosis, What ave it away, The blood next to it or the Worthog on top of it

    (P.S BS Angel, I have tried so many times, please tell me if this is good)

  97. Desert Rat says:

    So, the Warthog IS the devil!

  98. Woody says:

    …We’re gonna need a bigger freezer.

  99. KkilljoyGruntT says:

    So, if we both do it, is it gay bestiality?
    White meat or dark?
    Zebra, the other white meat.
    Roadkill! 29 points!
    Crap! We gotta hide this before hte rangers get here.
    Damn jaywalkers!
    Better call triple A.

  100. the blue shoe says:

    “Do you eat dark meat?”

  101. pwkwsfi says:

    trying to caption a screenshot after Friday is like beating a dead zebra.

  102. Babbott says:

    Someone ran over Frankie Munez’s Voice over animal

  103. The Real Dr Nog says:

    Sir, i think we have a problem, we hit a deer

    Bout time, UNSC never gives us lunch

    oh no did we hit it

    by god, these covenant are becoming more gruesome than i had imagined,… thats a zebra,… oh

    Overly Deadly Safari Troopers

  104. Ghandis Friend says:

    Dude I swear I thought it was a hallucination from that LSD we took a couple seconds ago

  105. Cardo says:

    Ohhh, let’s cut off its head and put it in Truth’s bed. Godfather stylee…

  106. RC says:

    It was comin’ right for us!

  107. LO0 says:

    “We could’ve saved a ton of money on our car insurance if you hadn’t run over that gekko back there! Now what?!”

  108. Gunlat3M says:

    It’s late, but I just thought of one.

    “Uplift Reserve, huh? We could use a lift to get this damned Warthog off the Zebra.”

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