What If, Halo Style: Round 4

Ah crap. Apparently today is not Friday. I’ll post a special caption activity tomorrow so we still have something to do. I promise I’ll know what day it is once September rolls around. Maybe.

naked master chief

Friday has rolled around once again and today that means two different things. The first relates to all of you as it is our traditional end of the week goof off day (can I get a w00t w00t?). The second is that it is typically one of the evenings I set aside for a much needed stress relieving marathon session of Halo but tonight I will actually be playing Gears of War. Considering I have only played the game once (and for less than an hour at that), it should make for an interesting time, eh? Enough talk about Marcus Fenix though. Let’s get to my preferred subject, Master Chief!

Last week for What If, Halo Style I asked, “What if you could design your own Halo 3 armor permutation. What would it be?” and an interesting mix of answers came pouring in. While only a few people mentioned a traditional birthday suit, it gave me the perfect opportunity to use one of my favorite Master Chief pictures. With how long I have been ogling that delicious image, you are lucky you are getting an article at all today. Just thought you should know that. Besides the naked responses, here are a few other answers that stood out.

  • “It would be Frankie’s Mister Chief. That would be awesome.” (petetheduck)
  • “A sniper variant. Something that doesn’t stand out like the other perms. Like, if your primary color matches the color of the environment you’re on, you shouldn’t be able to be seen as easily as if you were wearing standard MK VI gear. The gold visor needs to barely be visible. The chest piece needs to allow the user to have the stock of the sniper rifle held comfortably. The shoulders would allow easy mobility. Curved, not too big.” (gunluva)
  • “Definitely a gigantic Optimus Prime armor… with, of course, the ability to transform to an awesome truck.” (Pundarquartis)
  • “Battle Trophy armor. Bits of Grunts and Jackals hanging from the neck and shoulders, scraps of armor and helmets attached to shoulder pads, Marine dog tags, and somehow it would still look right with all the colors. Maybe a chain of bullets wrapped around the chest. Yeah. That’d look cool.” (Nid)
  • “A DINOSAUR ARMOUR!! RAWR. So fun running round chasing them!” (snotwoogle)
  • “Arbiter armour. No contest, for me.” (Anton P. Nym)

Nearly one-third of the answers mentioned the need for more Elite armor. As someone who has never played as that particular character model, I have no idea if there is a lack of Elite options but clearly many people hold that opinion. So now that we’ve covered armor, maps, and weapons, this week (inspired by a completely bad ass concept design for a Halo chopper) we move onto vehicles. What if you could add absolutely any vehicle you wanted into Halo 3’s multiplayer mix. What would it be? Currently I am torn between a speeder bike and an AT-AT walker (and if I have to tell you what series of movies those are both from, you’re fired). Let me know your answer while I ponder mine!

95 Responses to What If, Halo Style: Round 4

  1. mendicantbias00 says:

    First, I truly believe that you have tainted Master Chief for me for all time. =P

    Second, I want to see this in Halo!

  2. Jim 028 says:

    I would love to see jetpacks like the Elite Rangers had in Halo 2.

    For the Spartans it could be like Space MArine Jump Packs or the jetpack in Robocop 3.

  3. Pundarquartis says:

    The Batmobile… c’mon, that would be awesome :P

  4. madbox20 says:

    ummmm……today isn’t friday

  5. setters says:

    OMFG!!! you have just totally distracted me from everything I was doing!! I’ll be lucky to start work again this week!! Holy cow!! I may have found my new desktop :)

    you can have as many w00t, w00ts as you like even though it’s still thursday here.

  6. setters says:

    she’s just got too darn distracted by that body….

    understandably :)

  7. Crunchbite says:

    The Pattymobile from the Spongebob Movie. Fear the Patty!

  8. davyboy94 says:

    its thursday o.O not friday

  9. davyboy94 says:

    id add the death star or a tricycle

  10. Xor1an says:

    I would like to have the rocket warthog from HaloPC. The Gauss hog is nice in it’s own way, but it’s not quite the same. I think it would be a fun alternative for Rocket Race. Plus the rocket hog had an excellent paint job with that racing stripe down the middle (to make it go faster).

    Also, I would like to have a flying troop carrier like a Pelican or Covenant Phantom. Imagine in team objective games flying in and dropping off 3 or more team members all at once. I promise I won’t sing “Ride of the Valkyries” into my Xbox Live headset. (Well, OK, I promise I can hold a tune.)

  11. snyper says:

    Let me see… I would like a Scarab, a Mammoth MK. II walker (from Command & Conquer), and/or a Baneblade (from Warhammer 40k).

  12. Morpheus says:

    The snowmobiles and ATVs we were promised in Halo 2?

    What about a Halo:CE Covenant dropship? That’d be awesome.

    Support Hogs like in Campaign?

    What about the Longsword mod from Custom Edition’s ‘hugeass’?

    That’d be f***ed up….

    One dude files in there on Big Team Battle…

    Triple Kill!
    Flag Dropped!
    Double Kill!
    Killing Spree!

  13. Vincent says:

    I second the dropship/longsword idea!

  14. Dakota the Wolf says:

    Pelicans and phantoms, that could be used as moble bases in multiplayer. Your team only respawns in that vehicle, and if it get’s shot down, then no more respawns for your team.

  15. CrazedOne1988 says:

    Gunships from start wars 2-3. Those are so kick ass. Crew of 4, 2 pilots 2 gunners, and 4 passengers. Total of 8 people on board.

  16. Dakota the Wolf says:

    to go with your pisture up thar, how about “save a horse, ride a Master Chief

  17. petetheduck says:

    A red 2001 Hyundai Accent.

    Good times, good times.

  18. CrazedOne1988 says:

    Or juggernauts, those huge tanks in episode 3.

  19. TheChrisD says:

    Hmmm, it’s a good question…
    Maybe the Apocalypse Tank from Red Alert 2 :P

  20. SonGoharotto says:

    A pretty pony that I can pet and tie ribbons in its mane.

  21. SIR COFFEE says:

    A golf cart with a turret on the back.

  22. Nid says:

    Love the AT-AT, but I already used that one two weeks ago. So I’m going to say a big truck. One driver, a passenger at his side, and however many people in the back. And everyone, including the driver, could shoot. Can you imagine chasing a Mongoose with a giant Semi? It’d be like T-1000 after John Connor.

  23. SSC says:

    I’d love whuppin ass in a Shortsword.

  24. The Oscar Mayer Weenie-mobile. :D

  25. Jonathan Fisk says:

    Easy. Time Machine. Do I need to explain?

  26. comedianmasta says:

    I would probably add some sort of flying vehicle/troop carrier for those bigger levels (Pelican).

    Maybe some sort of trailer attachment for the ‘hog. You know, you got your gause hog, full, then add a trailer that can hold 3 more spartans (one can shoot, sorry other two) and if the warthog gets destroyed, the three in the trailer get ejected (not killed).

  27. DiscipleN2k says:

    I’ll second the Halo PC rocket-hog and add in the Halo PC Banshee. There were some truly epic dogfights in Halo PC that you just can’t pull off with the clunky handling of the Halo 2 or 3 banshees.

  28. Xenokyro says:

    I’d add a driveable varint of the Strider from the Half-Life 2 games. That thing can tear anything apart in seconds!

    Either that, or the big shielded Sentinel things (Enforcers, I think they’re called. You know, the ones outside the second Halo’s library?) so that I can bomb the hell out of my enemies! Now that’s one HELL of a way to protect the flag!

  29. Sam Patterson says:

    I would really enjoy seeing the seraph fighter, its small and could probably fit quite nicely into sandtrap or avalanche. i really wish bungie would make a much larger map, i dont really care about all the little details in between bases and such, but i want to see an almost all vehicle map with lots of room for big vehicle battles. Plus you could get pelicans, longswords, phantoms, scarabs, forced entry crafts (the ones used to take over cario station), and all sorts of others… i just want to be able to drive everything… =D

  30. gunluva says:

    The sports cars from Halo 2’s New Mombassa campaign scenery. They could be high speed transport vehicles for urban maps, or just racing around Standoff on some of the ultra-cool race maps people have made. Naturally, passengers could shoot out through the windows, and such.

  31. Sam Patterson says:

    dang, i forgot mythos

  32. Greg says:

    I liked the Bulldog from Halo Custom Edition. It would be the humans version of the Chopper.

  33. The tripods from War of The Worlds!

  34. -S- says:

    The bat-pod! It would be epic to have an insanely fast motorcycle of some kind, just thought of the bat-pod as a reference bc i think the chief would weigh way too much for a regular motorcycle.

    ….isn’t it thursday? lol

  35. Al7eredBeasT says:

    A Chocobo.

    or… a Kodo.

  36. Mondo Titan says:

    one word: Tumbler

    ya know, the one from the new batman movie. :) that would be some fun times.

  37. Kato says:

    Any of the vehicles from the 80’s cartoon M.A.S.K. A sports car that can fly? A motorcycle that become a helicopter? Sign me up!

  38. yayap_the_grunt says:

    An epic steam powered city crushing machine of doom!

  39. retinence says:

    A broom. I really want to play a Quidditch game varient.

  40. CrazyDragon says:

    Hah, how about KITT? Or an old persons scooter, those scooters could be equipped with missiles, sub-machine guns on the back to keep any pesky covenant from sneaking up. Maybe a grenade launcher could be put on too.
    BTW, thank you for featuring my Master Chief picture, ya either love it or you hate it ;P

  41. Pineapple says:

    I’d like to see a 2man brute bike with the passenger in front. that uses brute shot grenades to fly around like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kXitic-Mf4w

  42. Socket29 says:

    A kiwi, and the kiwi has a hole in it, and little kiwi wheels. You sit in the hole in the kiwi, and aim and fire little kiwi projectiles out of the kiwi gun.

  43. Grady says:

    The famed Yellow Banshee! Complete with dual rocket launchers, and the ability to fly (with passengers!) anywhere in the game. (Unfortunately, the old Yellow Banshee mythos web page is gone now, but I remember it fondly.)

    Alternately, a flyable Pelican for big team games would be cool.

  44. AT-AT says:

    An AT-RT, or rather, any fast transport with a weapon. I’m tired of needing to get some where fast, but constantly be killed because I’m riding a weaponless Mongoose.

  45. The More Deluded says:

    “Mondo Titan (10:16:09) :
    one word: Tumbler
    ya know, the one from the new batman movie. :) that would be some fun times.”

    The Tumbler? ohh you wouldn’t be interested in that…

  46. Xpargas says:

    Of couse the millenium falcon, I would say “dont get cocky kid” all the time

  47. PlasmaFire says:

    A Gundam.

    Because anyone who says “Oh no, it’s a Gundam!” is bound to turn some heads–which get blown off moments later.

  48. gamedaddy says:

    for humans:
    motorized unicycle for quick entry into enemy territory. no attack, doesn’t take to much to destroy it but hard to hit…

    or this…
    it’d be cool if you could break this down and have it on your back (you’d exchange this for your second weapon if you wanted to carry it). might come in handy if you wanted to ride it around, throw it on your back, fight then simply hit the switch weapons button to continue cruisin’.

    maybe even this…

    for dinosaurs:
    http://xbox360media.ign.com/xbox360/image/article/707/707155/chromehounds-20060510005336089_640w.jpg – lol, that’s just stupid…
    or this…
    something like this where the player will lay down inside it. its not as quick as the mongoose or the above human vehicles but it has weapons, the ablility to cloak itself briefly to set ambushes and it can take more of a beating mongoose but less than a chopper.

    last but not least…the ultimate in covenant technology…
    http://wwwdelivery.superstock.com/WI/223/1560/PreviewComp/SuperStock_1560R-2054948.jpg only with this can you achieve the mile-high-tea-bag-pile-driver.

  49. hk37 says:

    A AH-1W SuperCobra from the USMC. It would be kinda like a hornet, but with no passenger space and a second seat for the gunner.

  50. Drazelic says:

    Mirage Tank from Red Alert 2- imagine, camping in an undetectable tank that kills infantry with one kill…

    Or Prism tank also from Red Alert 2… Shooting lasers that reflect and can multihit a swarm of enemies would make combo kills easy…

  51. TrAvIs 6t6 says:

    Unicycle FTW!!!

  52. xp194 says:

    Scarab tank!

    Should be a whole gametype about bringing the thing down!

  53. Gnome says:

    Ever played Mech Assualt? A Ymir, nough said.

  54. Zee-V70 says:

    Flamethrower Tanks would be the lulz. Or maybe some Forerunner vehicle.

  55. Ken Raves says:

    The mysterious “Rapture” Bungie kept talking about. I’m well aware that the Raptures “horn” turned out to be the Elephant’s but I still believe that there was, at a time, an awesome, fear inspiring, anti-sunva-bitch, massive, Foreunner vehicle, complete with seating for Seven. The 7ruth is out there. ^(o.o)>

  56. phoenixfire360 says:

    Scarab hands down

  57. Spartan-055 says:

    Raven Helicopters,
    the Junker,
    Star Destroyers,
    World Devestators,

    and a Brumak.

  58. Nid says:

    “Forerunner Tank would have been awesome.”

  59. MathijsBuster says:

    A chariot.

    I just love the idea of master chief riding a chariot into battle, throwing plasma grenades to the left and right.


  60. Cailus says:

    Pelicans on huge maps with 32 players…ah, if only…

    On a more realistic, prayerful note, what about…erm…camels? Yep, camels. With an energy sword that cut through vehicles at close range, and the ability to launch a gaseous mixture from the animal’s posterior in case the said posterior is boarded. Lord knows I do that particular attack all the time. :)

  61. Maganic says:

    A classic Vespa scooter.
    It would be like the mongoose but with more style

  62. bman says:

    a toy corvette

  63. caelan96 says:

    An awesome truck

  64. caelan96 says:

    Pegasus! (The white, winged unicorn that Herekles or some other half-man half-god in Greek mythology.

  65. caelan96 says:

    Scarab. Definately Scarab.

  66. Maganic says:

    Another nice one would be the Truckasauras Rex

  67. Metalingus627 says:

    No love for the Spectre. :(

    Or the Shadow. It could be used similar to the Elephant, as a mobile base, but it would be much faster and more maneuverable than the Elephant, and could carry around one or two Ghosts with it.

    Heretic Banshee FTW.

    And the Shade. I know its pretty useless in multiplayer (too slow), but it would still look cool. Perhaps give it a line of fire that most of its enemies would have to come through, so it wouldn’t have to turn so much.

  68. shenanigans says:


    In Halo.

  69. TBag says:

    A UNSC Frigate that you can actually fly and fire weapons, launch pelicans etc. Even better a Carrier or two then you can have an all out space battle and board one other ships. I know its really crazy idea but it would be like “Boarding Action” but a hundred times better.

  70. SonofMacPhisto says:

    Forget Optimus Prime armor, actually GIVE me Optimus Prime to drive around!

    Perhaps he could even spout those little inspirational tidbits, as Primes tend to do. That would annoy Megatron – always a good thing.

  71. Lt Anders says:

    wow, no one mentions it?…How cruel.

    A giant rubber ducky on wheels.

    Just imagine…

    Hey Bob, what’s that?

    WTF, you on Doug, All I see is a giant Rubber Ducky…

    *Red guys pour out and slaughter blue*

  72. El Gaspeth says:

    The Oscar-Meyer Wiener car.

    I mean, seriously. Just imaging driving around Sandtrap with this giant hotdog.

    Turrets include Mustard and Ketchup. (Refills not included)

  73. BBJynne says:

    The cyclops from halowars
    cuz um…. everyone knows Japanese ‘mechs are the definition of badass

  74. Nid says:

    That last comment inspired me to post a third time. We need that heavy walker Ripley used in Aliens.

    “Get away from her YOU BITCH!”

  75. SonofMacPhisto says:

    Gundams? Say what? Or, speaking of mechs, how about Big ‘O?

    Or maybe some Robotech love… :-D

  76. Pineapple says:

    A fast two-man Scooter that shot every kind of grenade including brute shots.

  77. Naepa34 says:

    A vehicle actually called a puma, just to mess with Rooster teeth

  78. Nid (13:52:47) :

    “Forerunner Tank would have been awesome.”

    Oh my god, that would be amazing. No- even better than amazing. Super-califragi-whatever. I’m not even going to try to spell it. But that would be friggin’ sweet.

    Oh, and might I add, that is a very sexy Chief. The fact that that picture is the last thing I’m seeing before I go to bed, could make for some very interesting dreams…

  79. Araknoros says:

    sebulbas podracer, flying fortress (gunship employed by the U.S. military), x-wing, a rotflcopter, the flintmobile, the mystery machine (can you imagine raiding a base on valhalla with the mystery machine… the lolz to be had), the leviathan (UT3), an escalade (no main gun but everyone hangs out a window twould be ballin yo), trojan horse, those elephants from the the 3rd lord of the rings movie (omg epic battles), The Bungienator!!!, Star Trek Enterprise, Kit, and thats all i can think of right now

  80. I would so want a cookie mobile , and an ice-cream truck so I can get all the little kids to follow me! (Reasons i cannot exploit.)<===JK :D

  81. BBJynne says:

    srry for 2nd post but someone said ROFLcopter and i have to say
    hellz yeah!

  82. newguy2445 says:

    I would put in.
    The PenisMobile
    Just imagine it XD
    ‘You just got splattered by the PenisMobile’
    With a giant Penis car driving away in the distance.
    And the right trigger shoots, well you know what.
    Hijacking, why not jump onto one of those giant balls and pound it till it pops.

  83. Khu says:

    I want a bulldozer. With LOTS of armour.

    Hell. You all know you wanna drive and get heaps of splatters/betrayals…

    DON’T YOU?

  84. Handmade Hero says:

    Why the Brute jump pack of course! just think of all the epic air battles and customs

  85. Handmade Hero says:

    lions with laser beams attached to their heads covered in glitter

  86. Matoro3311 says:

    The Marv from Command and Conquer 3. . :P

  87. ShadowRaven says:

    My rolfbrontosaurus goes SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI….RAWR!!!!


  88. Jake the Tank says:

    A Black 1979 Pontiac Trans-AM, Bandit Edition.
    The Smokies would never be able to catch the Chief Again!

    Or a Harley-Davidson Road King Classic.

  89. ftzsarge says:

    Definitely the bulldog from Halo:Custom Edition

  90. Odessa says:

    Ooooh, my. O_O And there go all my chances of getting decent sleep tonight…
    As if I am not addicted enough to Halo. Thank you, thank you very much, my insomnia will be on YOUR soul!

    As for the vehicle…I don’t know. I’m afraid you effectively erased my reasoning and common sense with this picture. *goes catatonic and stares at the picture*

  91. Valentine says:

    Dear MasterChief,

    I don’t know you that well, let alone play your game very often. But if you promise to look like this all the time… I’ll toss my PS3, write to SONY and say screw you, and devote myself entirely to Xbox and donate my time to Bungie and annoy them with constant emails, begging them to create something like this image in game :)


  92. drewpulido says:

    The Death star

  93. Scotty says:

    A lifted jeep…. nothing else!

  94. blah la says:

    Not a vehicle but I want a option for first person driving thats the one thing I loved about halo but now I don’t even get into vehicles cuz it takes me out of the realness factor that makes it enjoyable.
    Now……. the troop hog and maybe a pelican or pelican like thing the right trigger for boost and left for picking up dropping vehicles

  95. Matoro3311 says:

    OK….that picture has traumatised me…severely…..

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