I Deserve a Mute-tacular Medal

I’m pretty sure I set a gaming record the other night with how many people I managed to mute while playing Halo 3. More times than not I scored a mute-tacular with the majority of the games requiring a total mute-astrophe. I am convinced that I successfully silenced 99% of the Xbox Live population in a single night. I found myself thanking my lucky stars over and over again for the much-needed addition of the user friendly “asshole” button Halo 3 brought us. Muting has never been so easy.

mute-tacular medal

The need to constantly mute all our opponents created a discussion within our party about how we wished there were blanket mute options. Someone suggested being able to mute everybody under the age of 18. While many people agreed, I found it inching too close to discrimination, not to mention that I know several young people who are quite mature and certainly nicer than the majority of foul-mouthed randoms trolling Live. Muting by gamer zone was also brought up but again, much too broad. So instead I made a survey that I think all gamers should have to fill out when signing up for Xbox Live. If anyone answers yes to two or more of these questions, I think my settings should allow for an automatic mute. I can’t even begin to imagine how much time and trouble this system would save me.

Xbox Box Live Playing Habits Survey

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yes no checkboxDo you think people will think you are a super cool bad ass if you play offensive, obscene music at ear-shattering levels directly into your microphone?

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yes no checkboxDoes the thought of repeatedly dipping your virtual nutsack into complete strangers’ faces make you positively giddy with excitement?

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yes no checkboxWould you be willing to sacrifice your teammate’s life who just picked up the weapon you wanted in order to acquire possession of said weapon?

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yes no checkboxDo you think that any player that doesn’t perform up to your standards should break their game disc, throw their 360 out the window, and buy a Wii?

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yes no checkboxAre you aware that anybody who is a higher rank than you is pathetic and needs to get a life, even though they have fewer played games than you?

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yes no checkboxWhen you encounter a rare breed of a gamer often referred to as a female, do you feel the need to ask what the status of your sandwich is?

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yes no checkboxDo you think everybody you are playing with wants to hear constant commentary of your double kills with rockets and other highly impressive gaming feats?

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yes no checkboxIs insulting everybody in the room with an offensive racially charged slur the best way to get off on the right foot at the beginning of each game?

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yes no checkboxDo you agree with this statement? Xbox Live’s primary purpose is to function as my own personal dating and virtual hook up service.

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yes no checkboxAre you convinced that anybody who beats you is either cheating, modding, or enjoys having relations with people of the same sex?

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I said before the survey that anybody who answers yes to two or more of these questions would automatically get an instant mute from me. I would like to revise that to anybody who says yes to any of the questions would get an instant mute. From all of us.

*Mute-acular medal made by Penguinish.

56 Responses to I Deserve a Mute-tacular Medal

  1. Cat says:

    Excellent questionaire. I’d love to see that included, Live would be a lot better!

    I never did understand why everyone goes on about teabagging so much…

  2. Kurt says:

    nice list, I want a copy for my muting pleasure. although, a friend of mine would have to check yes to questions 2, 3, and 4…

  3. ashame says:

    Thats weird all my answers are yes :|

    Just kiddin :D

    All no and I don’t even play any FPS online!

  4. silvercube says:

    Angel, I believe this should be used on shooting games.
    Most of your questions are more halo-related.

    Many people who sign up for xbox live will never even buy shooting games- so perhaps when someone boots up a shooting games like halo they would have to do this kind of survey.

    But yeah- anyone who is Pro or Underground.. they are always the one stirring up trouble.

    I believe I have only had 1 problem with 1 from Recreational – and 0 from the Famliy zone. In a few years I will probably switch my zone from Recreational to Family.. as that will fit me even more once I have children : )

    Oh… and I answered No to all of them.

  5. SafePit says:

    LOL, hilarious. I was surprised you didn’t add in an achievement booster question to your survey.

  6. Tortacular says:

    Dude. DUDE! I totally got a double kill with rockets last night!

  7. Venus Envy says:

    Is it wrong that i answered yes to about 5+ questions?!?!! lol

    I mean.. i know im super badass and who doesn’t enjoy listening to “My Humps” in a pre-game lobby?

  8. Eloco says:

    I agree with the FPS games bringing in the worst of the worst.. 99% of the people I met playing golf or Uno were pretty cool. I also work 2nd shift, and playing day times with the Euro crowd seems to net more mature gamers.

  9. Jordan says:

    I’d probably have several mute-tacular awards as well.

    Especially when it’s in BTB, or any Social. If I’m just playing with one other person, we’ll go into a chat so I don’t have to listen to the other idiots. It never fails that even people on my own team have to foul mouth me and make derogatory comments. :|

    Pls2STFU :(

  10. wolfy says:

    somehow i think they would just say no to everything

  11. Crazyeye0 says:

    “Especially when it’s in BTB, or any Social”

    Add Heroic DLC to that, that’s the most I’ve muted anyone on, and the most I’ve ever filed complaints against people for. Surprisingly, the people on ranked are less competitive assholes than those on socials =/

    Also, I answered no to all of them.

  12. PinkBulletz14 says:

    One more survey question…”Do you call anyone who kills you repeatedly in the same spot a Piece of @$#% camper who’s not good enough to go run around without any strategy.” I love this one as they keep running into my traps :o) Great article I mute tons of people on a daily basis.

  13. Sarge Tomzilla says:

    Hmm, thankfully I answered no to all of them :P

    I usually run into at least one of those at least once each day. I seem to run into Number 8 a lot. The odd part is, the use of the N-word is thrown a lot at me by these people, yet the lack of any african blood in me :P I usually respond with “screw you too ya *enters into list of ethnic slurs to be used against whites that includes those against germans, poles, italians, english or anything I am*”

  14. Marcus says:

    I’m not really sure why people always have these complaints about Live, I’ve never had an experience that was so bad I had to mute several people, in several games.

    I’m sorry that you did though.

  15. Bryan says:

    “Do you think everybody you are playing with wants to hear constant commentary of your double kills with rockets and other highly impressive gaming feats?”

    Umm… that warrants muting? It’s one thing if they’re being obnoxious about it, but I think that’s a bit over the top.

    Gotta agree with the rest of your complaints though–especially the weapon betrayals.

  16. w says:

    I hate teabaggers and I answer no too all

  17. Jaded Target says:

    No. No. No. Well no, but I wish I bought a Wii. I think they should get out more. No. Now that’s actually an in-joke with my party that usually accompanies killing an enemy and getting a betrayal. No. No. Well, I blame it on faulty coding by Bungie…

    Fortunately, I only speak to my party and teammates anyway but I guess I’ve just been auto-muted regardless. lol

    I’m Pro. I prefer to take the game seriously but trash talking and being a bigot are two things that should stick to Underground. It just depends on the people because everyone will always make someone mad about something. But people are excessively idiotic with Halo’s matchmaking. The game just attracts all kinds of players.

    Good survey though.

  18. duncan says:

    lol funniest thing ever was when I killed someone while they were teabagging my teammate.

    maybe he’s learned his lesson by now about teabagging..lol

  19. bs angel says:

    Duncan, that is one of my favorite things to do! I will always prioritize killing someone that is teabagging a teammate before anything else.

    • Esfuerso says:

      Oh yes love doing that, whats also fun (had it some while ago) a guy from the other team had the sniper, his teammate killed him for the weapon and i picked it up and killed him with it, such fun.

      gotta love doing team doubles with a friend noone spamming your comm with any music spam or amazing rocket kills

  20. alekat says:

    I’ve been forced to be broad and just limit player voices to team and party. This restrict me from meeting the cool people and I’d much prefer and alternative.

    It would be as simple as forcing people to take a survey to “better their gaming experience” it would be maturity based and it would certainly improve things for the high population games like halo. What a great idea for an additional tool for game devs. Genious. I hope this idea makes its way to the xbox.com boards.

  21. SleepyGlenn says:

    Also homophobia really annoys me on xbox live. Even though I don’t really expect the kids to really understand what they’re saying, it’s still irritating.

    Still…

    “UR GAY”
    “Well… yeah.”

    • cbd says:

      My reaction to kids calling me a faggot is to inform them that faggot is just another word for cigarette (and it is, in Britain) followed by, you might as well be calling them a pack of Marlboro Lights

      • Pondcreature says:

        Faggot also used to mean a bundle of sticks or fire wood :D

  22. zukan says:

    I think just showing them pictures used in psychological surveys would be enough. Obviously the mute-worthy will simply answer “boobs” or “your momma” to whatever they’re looking at.

  23. bibblles says:

    almost all my answers are yes.

    i don’t care if you mute me everyone else can hear me and will know my opinions weather they want to or not.

    i accept random friend requests (except the brits here) Xbox Live: bibblles

  24. Penguinish says:

    Using my Photoshop skillz i present you an accutal Mutetacular medal.

  25. Penguinish says:

    Opps cant use img html

    http://img229.imageshack.us/img229/5265/mutetacularmn9.png ill just link.

  26. bs angel says:

    Penguinish, that’s awesome! I am going to add it to the article. Thanks for making that. :)

  27. Penguinish says:

    :)! thanks i added info on this one

  28. bndud says:

    How is muting everyone under the age of 18 ‘inching close to’ discrimination? Isn’t it the definition of discrimination? Or is it not discrimination if it makes everyone else feel bigger and gives them all a cheap laugh or two?

  29. Dave Wilber says:

    such a great post! Needed to see it!

  30. Pingback: Spectacular Halo2 Mute Work « DAVE WILBER’s TURFGRASSZEALOT.COM

  31. Laird says:

    I answered yes tentatively to the “teabagging” question, If this applies to randoms that are “mouthy the whole game and suck”? I teabag the fuck out of those kind of people.

  32. Cryms0n N1t3 says:

    I got a no for all of them

    all though I do love a good teabag when its worth it, such as getting a bultrue with a magnum, or killjoying with a beatdown when they have shotty.
    Also, a good assassination to a sniper with 15 kills in a row is worthy of a teabag.

  33. When I’m not playing with people I know, I just set set the sound setting that mutes everyone always. It makes life so much simpler, even though it might hurt my team’s strategy.

  34. UnwaryLeo says:

    Yeah i totally agree. so its no to all except for the occasional emotionless teabag after finally defeating an idiot that i have already muted.

  35. Smurfa says:

    I want to be included to this system, it would make gameplay so much easier.

    silvercube: Unfortunately do not everyone understand the Pro setting, including you. I am Pro because of one reason, I want to play the game seriously, I play for winning. But there is a differece between playing like that and being an idiot. Insulting people, kill team mates to get their weapon and so on is pathetic and is most definitely un-professional.

  36. Navi says:

    Actually the medal is not so much made by Penguinish

    http://highresolutionhalo.hollywoodnhouse.com/?page=gallery&cat=Halo%203%20Ranks

    Still quite nice survey.

  37. Kaiavatar says:

    Lollerskateswtfbbq… that was awesome Angel… too bad Xbox live doesn’t take user input or requests…

    Love the article… keep up the awesome work… I couldn’t have said it better myself.

  38. xp194 says:

    Heh, thankfully I don’t apply for any of those. My biggest annoyance are those who will betray you for your weapon, then be absoloutly rubbish. I have learnt never to touch the sniper rifle, because i can’t shoot something so accurate, tending to go for the “spray bullets into the air, and you might just hit something” philosophy. If I know that I suck with something, I leave it, so its surprising when someone picks up a weapon, misses everything and blames it on the others cheating.

    “Noo… you just suck with that gun. Try something else…”

    “NO! STFU NOOB! I R 1337!”

    “Oh. Wow. ‘leet-speak.’ You have just confirmed my suspicion that you have an IQ level of -10…”

    “STFU!

    Wats an IQ lvl?”

    thats an example of when I tried to get someone to put the sniper rifle down…

  39. weefz says:

    Hehehe… YES! This questionnaire should be a mandatory part of the match-up system for online games. Those who answer “Yes” can be funnelled off into their own section where we normal people won’t even have to know of their existence.

  40. sabuj says:

    Most of your questions are helo reated.
    my ans is “yes”

  41. Penguinish says:

    well obviously you could tell i didnt 100% make it when i used the speaker image she orginaly used.

    Either way i still “made” the medal

  42. Awesome list. I would add people who have to shout “Oh, sh_t! NO SCOPE!” everytime they perform said action.

  43. -S- says:

    LoL @ #2 on the list – even if you mute your foe, you can never stop them from teabagging you :)

    Thus is the beautiful horror of Xbox live <3

  44. Internicivus says:

    I actually do like the idea of sacraficing a team mate who has the weapon I wanted, it’sonly the sniper rifle really. But that’s the only thing I answered yes to. I’m normally very quiet online.

  45. Navi says:

    Hm, definitely got a point there Penguinish.
    Didn’t want to be an asshole, more like just mentioning with sneaky advertising HRH.

  46. engtech says:

    crap, I answer yes to half of those.

  47. Pingback: Mute-tacular! « mendokusai.org

  48. Pingback: Forerunner

  49. BIZaGoten says:

    i got 1½ yes :D i are not mute :D

    i betray for weapons when im pissed, not when im happy thats a ½

    and yes i goes like: Yay double kill :D cuz i accomplished something…thats a 1

  50. BIZaGoten says:

    wait i got 2½ cuz i like tea bagging… in a game, teabagging means happy face :D

  51. L337MA573R says:

    No! They be after me teabaggin’s!

  52. ya mum says:

    on the servey
    no
    yes
    no
    no
    no
    no
    no
    no
    no
    YES!

  53. Panda says:

    I think the fact that people find teabagging offensive is just as childish as the ones who do it.
    “OH MY GOD HE CROUCHED ON MY HEAD!!”

    It’s not like these people are coming over to your house, unzipping their fly, and flopping their testicles on your forehead, it doesn’t even look like they are doing anything but kneeling in the game anyway. If you want something to deserve muting, it’s the people that when TRYING to start a conversation, like normal people, EVEN if it’s just a quick hello. INSTANTLY reply with STFU, SHUT UP FAG, and the like.
    For those of you saying these questions are halo specific or even First Person Shooter specific, you haven’t played enough video games to fully understand the horrible things the internet does. I played CONNECT 4 on my Ipod touch and the lobby was filled with nothing more than “A/S/L” “Any hot ladies wanna chat with sexy stud with huge etc…..” It doesn’t end there either. If you think halo 3 is bad because of loud obnoxious people. TRY PLAYING HALO 2 nowadays (nothing but mods and hax). Or Team Fortress 2, same thing.

    I’ll take a kid who’s mouthy and lousy ANYDAY over a silent cheater.
    As for people who teabag, get over it and teabag them back, I bet you it makes them more angry than it did you.

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